Feeling it...

... 'it' means so many things.  'It' means the love and support that has come pouring in!  I'm flattered, thrilled and humbled by your responses and own honesty and experiences - thank you.  'It' means the struggle of eating right today.  I knew I mowed down too much food, but one never really realizes it to its fullest degree until faced with writing it all down.  'It' means the lack of support that I need from my Mom.  'It' means feeling the sugar-low today.  'It' means the pride that I have today that I didn't have yesterday.  A miracle has not happened overnight, but I'm trying and that was more than I was doing yesterday.

So I hummed and hawed over the idea of telling my Mom about the blog but finally called her this morning and did just that.  She doesn't want to read it.  She said she doesn't want to hear about how this is all her fault.  Good god.  Seriously?!  Where's my support, my love, my encouragement?  After she could tell that I was hurt by her response, she told me to "... just make sure you don't get depressed by it" (writing the blog).  Thanks for the advice, Mom.  

The quiet struggle is something I didn't realize that so many of us have.  It seems that we've all got something going on.  There's something comforting about knowing you're not alone, but also something a bit disconcerting about knowing we're all hurting in some way.  I suppose that's life.  Focussing on the positive things in life is part of this 8 millionth new leaf I've turned over.  w00t!

The wee man is down for a nap and this typically is a chowing down on bad (for me) food time.  Today, I will not do that.

I have a goal dress.  Yep, you guessed it, it's the picture above.  About 3 years ago I bought the dress as my goal dress back then.  Ahem.  Mine is red with tiny little black polka dots and it's just the cutest thing ever.  I bought it in a large which means my bust would need to be 38", my waist would need to be 30" and my hips a cool 40".  Stop Staring! clothing are one of my favourite clothing designers and I can't really fit comfortably in their stuff anymore.  Boo, I say!  As most of you know, I love the retro look and dammit if I don't suit it too.  Thing of it is, women weren't carrying so much avoir du poids, ya know?

Here is my food diary for today, thus far:

Breakfast

1/3 cup large flake oatmeal cooked with 1/3 cup 1% milk and 1/3 cup water; cinnamon and one packet of Splenda were added.

Cuppa Earl Gray tea avec approx. 1/3 cup 1% milk and one packet o' Splenda

20 raisins

Snack

1/2 medium apple

Cuppa Earl Gray tea avec approx. 1/3 cup 1% milk and one packet o' Splenda

Lunch

1 whole wheat pita - 240 calories;  I was shocked as all get out when I read how many friggin' calories there are in one measly pita.

2 tbsp of delectable hummus (70 cal)

1 tbsp roasted red pepper dip (50 cal) - that shit's fattening!  I won't be buying it again.

1 medium carrot

Mid-afternoon

Cuppa Earl Gray tea avec approx. 1/3 cup 1% milk and one packet o'Splenda

Supper

2 x whole wheat (Weight Watchers) tortillas (180 cal. total)

1/2 medium sweet potato

1/3 cup black beans (tinned without salt)

1 tbsp salsa

2 tbsp light sour cream

2 tbsp light old cheddar

1 medium ear of corn

1 tbsp margarine

2 small bites of wee man's cheese quesadilla... trying to convince him it was yummy and he should eat it - no such luck!

Water intake:  2.5 litres

Exercise:  1/2 hour walk with wee man, so not brisk!

Yep, I'm hungry.  By all rights though, that should be enough food for me to be satisfied with, so I shall overcome the hunger and be happy that my lunch tasted so damn good!  One thing I realized today is how much of the wee man's food I eat.  

Okay, today's GOISF:

I fell for it.  Galen Weston told me to do it, so I did.  I bought the Dulce de leche cheesecake from President's Choice.  I don't even like cheesecake.  Nobody in this household likes cheesecake.  I ate the entire thing in two days.  That is a lot of cheesecake, calories and fat and I didn't even like it!  I ate it for breakfast, I snuck it before bed, and then lied about it being thrown into the garbage... unless my stomach is now the garbage.  Silly git.

Cupcake

xo