How thick is the icing on that cupcake?

First of all, I'd really like to thank those of you who have acknowledged my blog and the courage it has taken to do this - thank you.  I didn't send the message out to everyone I know, I hand-picked each and every one of you for a unique reason to you.  

It's funny when one opens up who responds.  There are those whom you expect will respond and don't.  Then there are those whom you are unsure if they will even care and they turn out to be the most responsive.  Deep down in my heart, a little too deep sometimes, I love people.  They scare the crap out of me, but I love people nonetheless.

Tonight, much like most times I am going to lose weight and eat right, etc, etc, I ate ice cream and justified it with, "Well, I've got to get it out of the house 'cause it's too much of a temptation".  I've always got a reason to pig out.  To be honest, I don't even enjoy it most of the time anymore because I've overdone it. 

Starting tomorrow, I will be recording everything I eat and I mean everything.  I will be as honest with the food list as I am with anything else I reveal here.

As promised, I got my tape measure out.  The numbers were staggering and I contemplated not posting them at all.  All the more reason to post them.

Height:  5'7"

Weight: 198.4

Wrist:  9.5"

Bust (sans bra):  44"

Under bust:  37"

Waist:  40"

Tummy:  44"

Hips:  42"

Thighs:  26"  

Mid-calf:  15.5"

Ankle:  8 3/4"

Neck:  14"

Upper arm:  13 3/4"

Forearm:  10 1/4"

After analysing my measurements I realized that my boobs and tummy are the same size!  People are always commenting on how big my boobs are... uh oh.  Maybe the boobs distract the eye from my tummy?  Let's hope so! 

My ankles are smaller than my wrists.  What the hell's with that?

Accepting myself for who I am is never going to happen.  I really want it to, but in my 34 years of life I've not been able to do it yet.  I wonder what it would be like to think highly of myself, hell even not to constantly hate myself would be nice. 

For the next wee while I will also be telling one gross, over indulgent and sneaky food (GOISF) incident per day.  Here is today's GOISF:

I am a regular patron of Tim Horton's.  When I walk in I'm already excited about what I'm going to get.  Sometimes I've been known to go crazy in there and it's become embarrassing to keep ordering more and more goodies.  As any good addict does, I figured out a way around this.  I would write a list while waiting in line and then it would look like I was buying goodies for a group of people.  If I was feeling particularly piggy that day, I would go to the extent of ordering a few coffees to go with the goodies so that the cashier wouldn't get suspicious.  Yep, addict paranoia as well.  The final nail in the coffin for this GOISF, I would throw the coffees away because I don't even like coffee.  It seems so insane and that freaks me out.

Let's hope tomorrow's 8 millionth fresh start and new regime will stick.  I've never been known to stick with anything... other than self-loathing.

Cupcake

xo