Fading away!

Now that title is a little dramatic, but I have lost 3 pounds this week!  In actual fact, I had lost four but we had treat night yesterday and apparently it netted me a one pound weight gain - boo. Stupidly, I was disappointed by the only 3 pound weight loss as I thought it was going to be much more than that.  I've decided I need to redefine my idea of perfection so as to be able to realize some success.  

I grew up with the idea that things had to be perfect.  If you weren't going to be the best, then don't even participate.  Good lord.  No exactly the best message to be sending.  Mistakes happen.  Nobody will always be the best at everything.  There's a book that we read to the wee man called, "Oh, the Places You'll Go!" by Dr. Seuss.  This book is great.  It talks all about how you're going to do wonderful things and be the best, etc, etc. except for when you're not and that's okay.  Such a good message for kids and adults alike.

Yesterday, as much as I really didn't want to, I went to the gym.  It first took needling from G and then a teary phone call to T.  Yep, I was sitting in the parking lot for gym crying.  I was so worried that people would be judging me, etc.  T told me to "Stop being so friggin' vain..." and as much as it hurt me for a moment or two, she was right.  She helped me in that door and I'm really grateful to her for that.  Much like many things, the first time is usually the scariest.  

I worked on the elliptical and burned 327 calories in 30 minutes of working out, followed by the 5 minute cool-down.  Then proceeded to do the 20 minute workout circuit with the weight machines.  All of this was really tough, especially after someone commented on how I must be working really hard.  My face was like a tomato!  Ach well, with time it will take more and more before I look like a tomato.

I hate blushing.  I do that a lot too.

My food diary has been in my head the past couple of days; this will not keep occurring.  Writing everything down is a necessary evil for me, at least for now.

This week's goals:

1. Go to the gym at least twice
2. Continue to eat healthily
3. Blog
4. Work on self-esteem and redefining 'perfect'

Today's consumption:

2 cups tea with milk and Splenda

1 litre water

Lunch

1 piece of toast (110 cal.)

2 large eggs

2 tsp whole grain mustard

Supper

Lean Cuisine roasted veg. pizza (not very good, but helped to curb the pizza craving)

Can o' Diet Pepsi

Apres supper

More alcohol than one human should consume (rum and a some Guinness)

2 carrot sticks

Cupcake

xo