Pig

I'm tired, so this is going to be pretty down to business style.

Food

1 cup Guardian cereal with 1% milk

1/2 cup f/f s/f yogurt... getting used to it now

6 organic dry-roasted almonds

1 egg salad sandwich on whole wheat from Tim Horton's

1 can Diet Pepsi

Cuppa (yes)

2 mini veggie samosas

1/2 wee pizza

1 large organic carrot

6 medium strawberries

Approx. 8 multigrain tortilla chips

Approx. 3 tbsp salsa

4-5 veggie meatballs

Countless edamame 

3 thin slices of demi-baguette

1/2 tbsp light butter

4 cinnamon brown rice chips

Very small amounts of tamarind sauce & Thai chili sauce

1.5 litres water

More Diet Pepsi

1 Laura Secord chocolate

Frig, Friday night 'treat night' really kills me.  I totally went overboard this Friday.

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 525 calories

12 reps on each of the 9 weight circuit machines + inner and outer thigh machines

35 crunches

35 leg lifts

10 puke inducers

Minimal stretching

Best of luck to me at my weigh-in tomorrow.  Boo.  I was going to do so well before this pig fest!  Oh well, sunshine and rainbows, sunshine and rainbows...

Cupcake

xo

My first sports related injury - how cool is that?!?

Yep, it's true.  I'm such a jockette now that I've got a sports related injury!  As I mentioned in a previous post, my Achilles tendon has been aching away like crazy.  I'd been hoping the pain would just go away, but no such luck.  Last night when I stood up to go to bed, my Achilles started (for lack of a better word) squeaking!  I made Graham put his finger on it and I moved my foot up and down, you could actually feel the squeakiness.  Cue shudder!

After my workout this morning, I went to the clinic, also located in my grocery store (what doesn't this place have?!).  The Doctor confirmed that my tendon is inflamed and needs attended to or it will tear. Again, cue shudder.

She gave me a prescription for something called, Naproxen and recommended that I ice my tendon after working out and then again in the evening.  There is a really cool product (pun intended) that is like a cold tensor bandage, called Ice Tape.  I wasn't looking forward to elevating my ankle whilst trying to hold an ice pack on it and now I don't have to worry about it - yay!

Food

1 cup Guardian cereal with 1% milk

1 cup Amy's way too salty lentil & vegetable soup (150 cal)

1 whole wheat English muffin (140 cal)

1.5 tbsp cream cheese

1/2 litre water... ouch... must drink more!

1 cup mixed fresh fruit:  strawberries, blueberries & (minimal) grapes

1/2 f/f s/f yucky yogurt

Cuppa with the usual suspects

1/3 cup brown rice

1 1/4 cup stir-fry including every vegetable on the planet & some tempeh and chick'n

Approx. 2 tbsp stir-fry sauce = demonic almond butter, rice vinegar, liquid smoke & Bragg's

1 litre flavoured water (no calories)

1 Laura Secord dark chocolate

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 521 calories

Ugh.  I took my first Naproxen and I'm feeling a bit icky.  My tummy is making all sorts of horrible noises.  Sewer backing up styley-o.  Let's hope that doesn't continue for the next 10 days!

 

Cupcake

xo

In dire need of food today!

So, I'm super hungry today!  I just finished wolfing down some potato & leek soup, plus half an english muffin and all of a sudden it's hit bottom.  I'm pretty sure a brick is now sitting in the bottom of my belly.  At 34 years old, I should know not to eat food too quickly!

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 525 calories

35 crunches

35 leg lifts

10 puke inducers

12 reps on each of the 9 machines in the weight circuit + inner and outer thigh machines

Introduced a bit of stretching today - felt good!

45 minutes shoveling snow... boo.

1 hour shoveling snow... more boo!

Food

1 cup Guardian cereal with 1% milk

1 cup (homemade) leek & potato soup

1/2 whole wheat English muffin

1 tbsp almond butter (100 calories!!!!)

1 litre water

1/2 cup f/f s/f yogurt (the yucky one that I'm trying to finish)

5 strawberries

1.5 eggs

1/2 whole wheat English muffin

1 tbsp salsa

Small sprinkling light cheddar

1/2 tbsp maple syrup

2/3 pancake

1 veggie sausage

Cuppa with milk and EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

The Splenda, or EXTERMINATE! as I come to refer to it as, is almost done.  Once it's gone from the cupboard, I shall not buy anymore.

I hummed and hawed over the almond butter because of the crazy amount of calories, but I was really wanting some protein.  I don't normally crave almond butter, so I thought if my body was asking for it, I should accommodate.  Now if it was a slice of vanilla cake (ughghghgh...) I'd have to say 'no', but something pretty healthy like almond butter, yep.

Last night I trapped Graham's leg between mine and squeezed as hard as I could, the fool liked it!  He said soon I'd be able to crack nuts with my thighs, thus the picture of dear Hillary.

Cupcake

xo

 

Tough slog today.

Damn!  My back is sorrrrrre to day.  I should start stretching more... it's just a good thing to do for many reasons.  I slept like a log last night.  In fact, I even slept through the tail end of Corrie! Now anyone who knows me, knows that I love Corrie, so it's clear that I was knackered last night. I suppose the night time Advil cold and sinus helped a touch too.  I am struggling to fight off a stubborn cold or flu, something that's making me feel tired and making my ear squeak!

Food

1 cup Raisin Bran combined with Kellogg's Guardian cereal with 1% milk.  

Cuppa with milk and EXTERMINATE!  I'm a fiend for this chemical crap.  Help!

1 whole wheat English muffin (130 cal)

1 tbsp cream cheese (45 cal)

1 tbsp nsa jam (20 cal)

1/2 cup homemade potato leek soup

Cuppa

1 ear of corn with less butter than I've ever used!

1/2 whole wheat English muffin

1 tsp cream cheese

1 veggie burger

5 oven chips

Small amount of pan-fried onion & red pepper

1/2 Laura Secord chocolate (25 cal)

1.5 litres water

1/2 can Diet Pepsi

3/4 large organic Golden Delicious apple

Exercise

52 minutes on elliptical - burned 513 calories.  

I struggled today.  I can admit it.  I went slower than usual and really felt it.  At about 1/2 my back really started to hurt and my right foot was beginning to fall asleep.  All very odd.  I got smart and changed the music I was listening to (The Ramones) and moved over to Queen Latifah.  Somehow the Queen always gets me through it.  Of course I'm talking older Queen Latifah, not her stuff now.

I'm really looking forward to watching the Biggest Loser tonight with T.  We were laughing at ourselves because we look forward to Tuesday nights, as we can hang out in our jammies and watch an inspirational t.v. show together.  Such dorks!

So upon review, I think I'm eating too many starches and not enough veggies.  More water. More veggies.  Le sigh.

Cupcake

xo

Cruel and unusual punishment.

I had a couple of things to do this morning before I could go to the gym.  One was to sulk because I was so tired.  Snoring husband = grouchy wife.  Plain and simple.  We're not unique in this way.  The second thing was much cooler.  It involved receiving and subsequently depositing money we've been waiting for. I can deal with that :)

The crap thing about going to the gym 1/2 hour later is that approximately 1 1/4 hours into my workout, the bakery downstairs (remember my gym is in the upstairs of a grocery store) started baking bread.  In the words of Stewy, "Jeesusufferingfuck!" how cruel is that?!  At first my head was in denial of the sweet smell.  It just didn't make sense.  Then as I was lying on the floor doing my crunches I realized it was true.  I was smelling freshly baked, or baking, bread.  That's just mean... but funny too!

I thought for sure I'd have a difficult time at the gym today because my mood was so foul this morning when I got up for the 800th time, but no.  Also I've been having a bit of a pain around my Achilles tendon and I thought for sure it would give me grief.  Actually, I was plotting my excuse for not completing my minimum 500 calories burn-off on the Achilles issue.  What a scoundrel.  As it turns out I rocked at the gym today.  

Food

1 cup Raisin Bran cereal with 1% milk

1 litre water (must up the water ante)

1 1/4 cup Wolfgang Puck Organic Thick Hearty Vegetable Soup

1 small oat bagel 

2 tbsp cream cheese

3/4 cup fat-free, sugar-free yogurt (I bought a new flavour today and it's gross!  Of course I hate wasting food, so I'll eat it, but ewwww!)

1 Laura Secord chocolate (50 calories... bad choice because now I don't have a snack for later this evening)

5 organic dry-roasted almonds

1/2 cup whole wheat spaghetti tossed in tomato sauce

3 thin slices of demi-baguette, aka baby baguette with less fat butter

1 cup potato leek soup, made by moi and SCRUMMY!

Cuppa

Exercise

50 minutes (incl. cool down) on elliptical - burned 519 calories

12 reps of each machine in weight circuit.  I upped the weights to the next setting below!  She-Ra Princess of Power!

Added the inner and outer thigh machines (12 reps)

35 crunches - upped by 5

35 leg lifts - upped by 5

10 puke inducers - upped by 2

I've been super productive today and feel great for it, albeit quite wiped out.  I'm fast-forwarding in my head right now to 9 p.m. when I finally sit down with a cuppa and watch Being Erica - I love this show!

Cupcake

xo

Na na na na na na na naaah, I wanna start a fight!

Well not really start a fight, but I sure loved punching the beejesus out of a bag today!  I tried cardio kick boxing and it was great!  I wasn't very adept at the step portion of the class, but I can see how it would come to me after a few classes.  I loved the punching!  It was so empowering.  I will definitely go again.  Punching was even more fun when I closed my eyes and really got into the rhythm of the music.  I know, sounds geeky, right?  I don't care.  I'll be able to kick your ass soon :P

The last two days have been very difficult as far as food goes.  I guess it's likely because of the weekend; my whole routine is thrown off.  This is going to have to be something I work on because I can't be throwing myself off every weekend.  I work too hard during the week to screw it all up in the two days that the boys are home.

Food

1 cup Raisin Bran cereal with 1% milk

Couple of cuppas with milk and Splenda (EXTERMINATE!  EXTERMINAAAATE!)

Sandwich: two slices whole wheat bread; 2 slices 'turkey'; 1/4 orange pepper; 2 tbsp cream cheese; 1 tsp whole grain dijon mustard (pure love)

1/2 can Diet Pepsi

1 organic dry-roasted almond

1 Laura Secord dark chocolate (50 cal)

1 large apple

4 'chicken' nuggets

Handful of sweet potato fries (baked without oil)

1 oatmeal raisin cookie that is ridiculously healthy and scrummy (scrummy = super crazy yummy) - 80 cal.

Exercise

Exciting cardio kickboxing class!

I'm tired.  Off to Bedforshire for me.

Cupcake

xo

Biggest Loser this week!

I'll give you 10 guesses to figure out who was this week's biggest loser at Chub Club - yep, it was me!    All that crazed hard work paid off; I lost 5 pounds since last Saturday! YAY!  This result is definitely going to fuel my fire for this upcoming week.  I, like most, thrive on results and today, we have some serious results!!!

Food

Grande vanilla rooibos latte (not a good choice, but delicious)

1 litre water

1 veggie wrap

Couple of spoonfuls of some vile cabbage soup that tasted like a bag of sugar had been poured into it.  

Tall vanilla rooibos latte (very bad choice, but it was a gift)

11 grapes

100 calorie bag of popcorn

Amy's veggie loaf meal

10 dry-roasted almonds

1/2 cup fat-free/sugar-free lemon yogurt

1 50 calorie Laura Secord dark chocolate

1/2 an Ugli fruit - another experimentation in food that went very well.  When I cut it open it looked like pure sunshine.  It was delicious!

Exercise

None today.  I'm taking the day off.  Saturday is always going to be my day of rest.

With pants on, I weigh 191.4.  Yeah, I took my jeans off for the weigh in.  Then we decided to weigh in with the jeans on and take that weight.  The jeans off weight was 190.0.  As big as this number is, it's less than it was last Saturday :)

You know, I feel different.  I can't quite put my finger on it, but I like it.  I rage a lot.  Last night I was depending on husband to get home by 6:15 p.m. so I could catch the train at 6:30 p.m. Did he show up on time?  No.  I kind of knew this would happen, but in the back of my head I believed he'd be on time.  Normally I'd rage something fierce.  Last night, I just worked through it (feeling quite frustrated inside) but I didn't freak out.  THIS IS HUGE.  

Okay, so I'm just about to go to bed and mentally I'm feeling like crap.  I'm hoping I'm just super tired and that it'll all go away in my dreams.  Can I really be falling into the cycle of rewarding myself with food for taking weight off this week?!?!  Today's food intake has left me feeling heavy, bloated and disappointed.  

Note to self:  shut the fuck up and enjoy your success!

 

Cupcake

xo

Friday!

Food

1 cup Raisin Bran cereal with 1% milk 

1 litre water

1 organic Ambrosia apple (skin was way too thick and tough)

Exercise

50 minutes (incl. cool down) on elliptical - burned 511 calories

30 crunches

30 leg lifts

8 puke inducers

12 reps on each of the 9 weight machines in the circuit

When does this get easier?!  I know, I know.  I have to be realistic about these things, but that damn elliptical seems to be getting harder - I swear!  This weekend, or at least tomorrow, of no gym is going to do my body a world of good.  My hip flexer area is killing me today and I just need to rest it a bit.

The good news is, my clothes are feeling a little less snug.  Now I don't want to go and get too excited 'cause there's still a lot of work to go, but small victories are great for motivation.  I'll find out at Chub Club tomorrow just how much weight I've shed this week.  I know something's come off.

Still reading the Dr. Phil book and really enjoying it!  I speak this man's language.  Although some of his expressions are a bit strange.  To paraphrase, "My Aunt was so tall she could hunt geese with a net." okaaaay.  One really good piece of advice was to not think that losing weight is going to be the solution to all of my problems.  I'll just be thinner and healthier.  Funny thing is, I really feel different this time.  Honestly, this is the first time I've ever worked so hard for the healthiness.  Starving myself?  Yep, I've done it.  Taking laxatives?  Yep, I've done it.  Does it work?  Nope.  This time I'm eating healthier, with the occasional treat so I don't go mad.  Then there's the exercise.  Oh the exercise.  This is a whole new world to me.  Do I like it?  Not quite yet.  Do I like the feeling after the exercise?  Kinda yeah.  I just really like being proud of myself, it hasn't happened a lot in my past.

Stay tuned...

Cupcake

xo

 

Whoa! Today was a challenge.

Last night wee man started bawling his little eyes out at 11:30 p.m. and of course we both rushed to his room.  He was complaining of a tummy pain and kept asking me to kiss it better - poor soul!  After getting him all freshened up and a bit of meds down his gullet, I brought him into our bed (all the while wondering if this was setting ourselves up for future disaster).  He had no desire to sleep.  Like, none.  Periodically he would be quiet and lie still and then we'd think he was sleeping.  I'd start to drift off and then all of a sudden he said, "MOM!  Can I watch Max and Ruby please, Mummy, pleeeease?"  Oh good god.  Needless to say, he was hoofed out of our bed and back into his own at 12:45 p.m.

Fast forward to this morning and we are all tired and all grumpy.  I've got some weird cough thing going on, wee man's tummy still hurts and husband just wants to sleep 'cause he's been working super hard lately.  Ugh.

Despite just wanting to lie down and be lazy after wee man was on the bus, I went to the gym. There were several times when I came close to bailing because instead of going straight to the gym from dropping wee man off, I went back to the house to get my gym bag and then ended up in a conversation with husband.  With every word, my motivation (as little as it was today) was dwindling.  Then I got a text from Denise - THANK YOU!  The entire text was "Go to the gym. Go to the gym.  Go to the gym gym gym" and it worked, I went to the gym!  The timing of her text was perfect.

It was hard going on the elliptical today, probably one of the hardest days I've had.  After 15 minutes I thought I was going to die and this kept up until 30 minutes.  After that I mainly moved past how crappy I was feeling.  

I'm a bit nervous about how much I've been struggling this week.  I just need to keep it up!  I can do this.  I know I can do this... unfortunately thought with a twinge of doubt.  Ack!

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 512 calories

Food

1 cup Raisin Bran cereal with 1% milk

2 litres water

1 organic Golden Delicious apple

22 organic dry roasted almonds

1 cup fat-free, Splenda sweeteened, lemon yogurt - so good! (approx. 70 cal.)

2 cuppas with milk & Splenda (falling back into Splenda habit... must eliminate!   EXTERMINATE!  EXTERMINATE!)

Sundried tomato veggie burger on a flat bun with pan-fried onions (1 tbsp olive oil for all the onions), lettuce, tomato & salsa. 

4 oven chips

1/2 cup carrot ginger soup

Cupcake

xo

Behold the masterpiece.

Okay, so the whole thing wasn't a masterpiece, but the tempeh toss (the yummy colourful dish on the left) was worth the effort.  The barfy looking soup was just yucky.  It wasn't awful, but the texture of pearl barley kind of freaked me out and the taste of the base was odd.  

Now that I look at it, that seems like a lot of food.  The tempeh toss is served on a side plate, so it's not quite as plentiful as it seems.  In actual fact, I've been trying to serve our dinner on side plates.

I don't know what's on the menu for tomorrow yet.  Instead of menu planning, spent the whole evening chatting with Graham - so nice!

Off to Bedforshire.

Cupcake

xo

"You look like a pro. Can I ask you something?"

I turned around and looked behind me.  I really thought she must be talking to someone else. Nope.  Apparently I was looking like I knew what I was doing at the gym today - yay!  Now I know she probably just wanted an opener so she didn't feel so embarrassed talking to a total stranger, but she could've opened with something like, "I see from the colour of your face that you have been genetically modified with a tomato.  Can I ask you something?"  But no.  Woo hoo!

Exercise

547 calories burned on elliptical - took about 50 minutes, plus the cool down.  I was definitely struggling a bit today and that is proved by the fact that it took me longer today what I did yesterday.  That being said, I almost barfed yesterday after feeling like I was going to explode my uterus.

Weight circuit - 12 reps each on each of the 9 machines

30 crunches

30 leg lifts

8 puke inducers

Food

1 cup Raisin Bran cereal with 1% milk

2 litres water

1 can Diet Pepsi (very unusual these days... drinking it, not Diet Pepsi in general)

10 organic dry roasted almonds

1 large organic Golden Delicious apple

1 Amy's Black Bean enchilada meal (so salty it almost hurt)

Couple of spoonfuls of a tres disappointing soup I made today.  Figures.  I spent a long time making it and it was, um, vile.  Ach well, I know not to make it again :)

1 cup tempeh toss (tempeh, lots of veg)

1/3 cup brown rice

1/2 Laura Secord chocolate (25 calories)

Cuppa 

I've started reading "The Ultimate Weight Solution" by Dr. Phil.  I started reading it just after I got it as a gift from T, but then I slipped up and if you'll all recall, I ended up dribbling caramel sauce on the Doctor himself.  The book seems really great so far and seems like it's written just for me.  The comforting thing about that is, I'm not alone.  Clearly there are loads of people in the world who have the exact same issues as me.

Now I've been going hard at the gym for 2.5 weeks now and it seems like an eternity.  There is a definite sense of dread this week when I get up to go.  I want to shake the doom and gloom. Okay, there's no real doom and gloom, that's going overboard.  I am just feeling a bit of blech when I think about working out.  It's hard!  Yeah, yeah.  

The cool thing is, I am actually proud of all my hard work.  With Callum at school in the mornings, I can go to the gym and prep dinner, etc.  This means I have more time to spend with him when he comes home!  Not to mention all the benefits to him for going to school.

Speaking of prepping dinner, the picture above is our dinner-to-be for this evening.  Yummy! Actually, I don't know if it'll be yummy, but I sure hope so.  In case you're wondering what the cubes are in the measuring cup, it's tempeh.

Tempeh is made from soybeans, but it has a stronger flavour and protein content than tofu.  It's not very appealing when you look at it, but it is tasty.

I will take a picture of tonight's lovely creation once it's cooked.  I also made a pearl barley and chickpea soup.  Crap thing is, I used Graham's homemade taco seasoning thinking it was turmeric.  I sure hope the flavour of the soup is still good.

Oh yeah, thanks for texting me this morning Denise!  

Cupcake

xo

Almost a barf-o-rama!

Glad to report that wee man didn't cry when he got on the school bus this morning!  He was still concerned, but but enough to actually cry.  What a brave soldier.

This morning I set a caloric goal on the elliptical of 500, instead of a set time.  I find I watch the calories non-stop because it feels good to watch them melt away.  These new ellipticals are really killing me though.  I worked as hard as I could, like serious tomato-style (face), and burned my 500 calories in about 50 minutes.  Now I know this is what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks, but it just hit me really hard today.  The cool down and I don't get along.  In fact, I hate the cool down.  When I'm done, I'm done.  I stepped off today and was met with a horrible pain in my uterus of all places.  It was almost like it seized!  Then I felt dizzy and thought for sure I was going to be sick to my stomach.  Instead of doing my mat work I headed straight for the change room.

Who was in there?  The Oakville lawyer's wives.  Ugh.  No this is not a club called the Oakville lawyer's wives, well not an official one anyway.  Just a group of women who are classic Oakville wives.  If you're not familiar with this sect of women, think "The Real Housewives of Orange County" and you'll get an idea.  I bust in, beet red, sweaty as hell, and ready to vomit!  In retrospect, quite funny!  At the time, very embarrassing.  I shot into a bathroom stall which has no privacy other than the doors and wretched.  I didn't puke, but boy did I ever feel like I needed to.  The whole drive home I was on pins and needles hoping I'd get home in time before something vile happened in my car.

Got home, jumped in shower, set alarm and lay in bed for the next 2 hours, writhing around in pain and distress.  When I got up to go pick up wee man I looked in the mirror before leaving and was shocked at how white my face was!  Now I've been known to have such lovely nicknames as 'fog patch' and 'Casper' so under normal circumstances I'm very pale, but this was scary pale.  I feel pretty good now, but man oh man, I hope that doesn't happen again.  I kind of wondered if my blood pressure dropped too quickly.  That combined with that lovely time of the month... maybe made a molitov cocktail out of my body.

Exercise

500 calories burned on elliptical

Food

1 cup Raisin Bran cereal with 1% milk

3 x cuppas with milk and Splenda (I really felt like I needed the sweet today)

1/4 cup Ginger Butternut Lentil soup (leftover from last night's dinner)

2/3 piece burrito pie (doesn't reheat well at all)

1.5 litres water

Weight Watcher's yucky yuck yuck meal - that's them all gone now... no more.

3 veggie chick'n nuggets

1 large golden delicious apple

Cupcake

xo

Warm, full belly... of the good type.

The snow is really starting to get to me!  The pile at the end of our driveway is about 7' tall and growing.  It's times like these when I miss the rain.  Did I really just say that?!  Actually, I missed the rain quite a lot when we first moved here.  It just felt so foreign not having the rain. One really great thing about winter here is that it's almost always sunny and that is something that was seriously lacking in a B.C. winter.

This morning was super challenging in many ways.  Wee man got the bus to school today and he was excited until it was time to actually get on the bus.  He dug his heels in and tried to bury his head in my legs.  Without getting into all the heartbreak, let's just say I choked back the tears until I could turn around and not have him see.  It was bad.  Let's hope tomorrow is a bit brighter.  Good news is, when he was dropped off he was in great spirits!  Life is such a series of challenges, for all of us.

I almost bailed on the gym this morning because I was crying and tired, but I went anyway. Normally I would try to do it for myself, but today I had to channel my love for wee man.  

The Oakville location of the gym is much cleaner and newer than the Hamilton one, but it's not got my favourite elliptical!  Boo urns.  Nonetheless I slogged through 45 minutes on the elliptical, not feeling at all gazelle like.  Sounds idiotic, but my fav elliptical made me feel like I was a gazelle or something really light and floaty.  Meh.  I'm sure I'll get there with this new one.

Exercise

• 45 minutes on treadmill = (480 calories)
  
• Weight circuit; 12 reps each of the 9 machines
  
• 30 crunches
  
• 30 leg lifts (legs up toward ceiling; one leg slowly lowered to floor and then back up again, etc)
  
• 8 puke inducers (legs up toward ceiling, toes pointed, trace small circles, each circle taking a count of 10)
  

Food

• 1 cup Raisin Bran with 1% milk (180 cal. for the cereal; approx. 35 cal. for milk = 215 cal)
  
• 1 litre water
  
• Amy's veggie loaf meal (290 cal.)
  
• 1 cup light hot chocolate (45 cal.)
  
• One large organic Golden Delicious apple (approx. 101 calories according to the almighty internet)
• One package of Crystal Light (10 cal.)
• 3/4 cup of Ginger Butternut Lentil soup, made by moi (super delicious!)
• 1 slice burrito pie, also made by moi and yep, you guessed it - super delicious!
• Cuppa
• 1 Laura Secord 72% dark chocolate = 50 cal.

My tummy's burbling and making funny sounds.  

As a side note, there are 3 cookbooks that I use on a very regular basis; How It All Vegan; The Garden of Vegan and La Dolce Vegan.  Recently T very kindly bought me a traveler's size cookbook by one of the same gals, called Vegan a Go-Go! and I'm super stoked about using this one as well.  The recipes in these books are healthy, hearty and are very kind to our earth. If you're interested, please check out the website.  

Cupcake

xo

Hot off the presses!

I just read about my apple-shaped body.  Apparently I need to burn more calories than I take in, if I want to lose this shape that haunts me.  How on earth will I be able to burn more calories than I take in?!  This should be interesting.

Busy Mummy!

It's been a bit strange this weekend.  I mean I got so used to my routine this week that it feels strange to be hanging around the house.  

Exercise

40 minutes on treadmill (at home): burned 363 calories

Food

Small oat bagel

2 tbsp cream cheese

1 pink grapefruit

1 cup Raisin Bran cereal with 1% milk

2 slices 12-grain bread

4 slices veggie turkey

Very small amount of light cheddar

1/4 avocado

Lettuce

1/4 red pepper

1 tbsp light mayo (45 calories)

Whole grain mustard... guhghgh... so good!  I love mustard.

1 Laura Secord 72% cocoa chocolate (50 calories)

Couple a cuppas

1 nectarine - SO GOOD!  I was surprised it was so yummy, I expected it to taste, well, out of season!

1 Amy's broccoli pie

1 litre water

I gave myself one day off of exercise this weekend and I felt kind of crappy for having done it. Granted, I couldn't have done it last night anyway 'cause I felt so crappy.  With husband's encouragement I got on the treadmill this evening, but it was super hard and I didn't enjoy it at all.  The wee man was really curious and excited and I couldn't concentrate because I kept thinking he was going to try and get on the treadmill, or do something silly, etc.  It was very frustrating.  Note to self:  go on treadmill when wee man is napping or at school.  I'm kind of torn about that because he should see us exercising and even start to participate.  Then again, maybe I can do jumping and stretching, etc with him instead of exposing him to something dangerous.

It's been a busy Sunday, but a productive one and that is good news.  5 loads of laundry done and one in the dryer right now.  On Sundays I make sure absolutely all the laundry is done, including towels & bedding; somehow this process makes me feel better.  I also cleaned like crazy!  I suppose this sort of counts for exercise too.

Tomorrow's a big day!  Wee man starts taking the bus to school.  Le sigh.  It will be very difficult for me to not cry, but I will try my hardest to be brave for his sake.  I know he'll be okay.  Also, tomorrow I will start going to a different location of my gym.  Cool thing is, it's on the top floor of my regular grocery store!  This is uber convenient because then I can buy my produce for that evening's meal.  I love buying produce as I need it, but usually buy a bunch because I don't want to make unnecessary trips to the store.  I think I'll start meal planning.

A friend of mine and I have decided to make mixed CDs (remember making mixed tapes?) for each other featuring our favourite workout music.  This way we get some new music and a fresh outlook on what gets the other moving - I love this!  As it turns out, we both love to work out to gangsta rap, so it should be interesting to see what two VERY white chicks in the suburbs can come up with.

I'm going to hunt for some more odd veg tomorrow.  The first odd veg worked out so well!

Cupcake

xo

A husband torn...

Husband is off to nerd out in Waterloo.  Going with him are totally decadent, delicious brownies that he made this evening.  When he makes things, he starts from scratch.  For instance, these brownies used melted chocolate and freshly brewed Kicking Horse coffee.  I was pretty sure I was going to cave when I saw them popped out of the pan, sitting so lovely on the parchment paper.  I'm pretty sure he was a bit torn about what to do.  Take all the brownies with him and risk potential backlash for not thinking that maybe I wanted one?  Or leave me a brownie and suffer potential backlash of me asking why on earth he would leave me a calorie-laden brownie when he knows I'm trying to eat right?  Poor soul.  As seen above, this was his solution.  Quite lovely really.

Mother Nature arrived this evening with her evil little present for me.  Under normal visits from MN I would have devoured that brownie in a heart beat, but today I just kind of feel that crappy feeling that only girls can when they're bloated and blech.

Today at Chub Club I was really glad to be back in the swing of things.  The group of women that are members of the club are a great combination of supportive, caring, funny and brutally honest all in one neat package.  As much as brutal honesty can sting sometimes, I can honestly say that I appreciate it.  There's nothing worse than someone wanting to say something and being too apprehensive to do so for fear of hurting your feelings.  I went down 2 pounds over the last 2 weeks and for that I am happy!  After discussing my weight loss goal with the CC gals, I realize I may be setting an unattainable and unsustainable goal.  I will rethink my strategy and set a new goal.

My water intake is crappy today, as is my level of exercise.  I'm still considering getting on the treadmill, but I really can't imagine it's going to happen.  I'm tired and bloated.

Exercise

None

Food

1 slice of spinach quiche

Approx. 3/4 cup bean salad

Small amount of potato salad (used low-fat sour cream)

1/2 litre water

1 large ambrosia apple

Tall 1% vanilla latte

1 stick bubblemint gum

1 Weight Watcher's frozen meal - so gross and unsatisfying

1 cup Raisin Bran cereal with 1% milk

1/2 can Diet Pepsi

1 small clementine

Meh, I'm going to go get horizontal.

Cupcake

xo

Friday night gorge fest!

Exercise

45 on elliptical (hill setting): burned 550 calories!

Weight circuit, 12 reps of each.  

Added inner and outer thigh machines, 20 reps each.

Puke inducer tummy exercises.  I count these as I'm doing them, but I never remember the count afterwards, I don't know why.  Actually, it's probably because I'm concentrating on not puking!

Food

1 cup Raisin Bran cereal with 1% milk

1 litre of water (Having a 'bad' water day)

2 cups vegan chili

Cuppa

Light hot chocolate

Very small, tasteless apple

8 flax tortilla chips

3 tbsp hummus

1 tbsp salsa

1 wee cheese pizza (Pillsbury)

2 mini veg. samosas

1/2 red pepper

1/2 large carrot

4 pieces veggie sushi (using brown rice)

1.5 dark chocolate squares (75 cal.)

5 veggie 'meat' balls

1 tbsp tamarind sauce

Very small amount of pita bread

I know, right.  A crazy amount of food!  Friday night is our treat night, but we tried to make it more healthy than normal.  I couldn't enjoy the food like I normally do because all I could think about was the calories I was taking in.  Frig.  Fretting over it isn't going to do any good, so I shall do my best to embrace my overly full tummy and move on.

Cupcake (at least I didn't have one of these too!)

xo

Laura Secord.

She was a Canadian heroine of the War of 1812.  In short, she walked like 30 kilometres to help save our lovely Niagara Peninsula from being taken over by the Americans via a secret attack.  She wasn't afraid to push herself for the greater good.  Her bravery was stunning and still stuns people to this day.  So how the hell did her name end up on a retail candy store?  "In 1913 Frank P. O'Connor began a small, Toronto-based candy business selling hand-made chocolates.  He adopted the name Laura Secord, after the Canadian heroine because she was an icon of courage, devotion and loyalty."

Why am I writing and reading about Laura Secord?  Well, her name was familiar to me from a very young age, but not because of her heroism.  It wasn't until grade 6 that I learned of her amazing bravery.  Then I reverted back to primarily thinking about those yummy chocolates.

Today wee man and I were at the Burlington Mall and he asked for an ice cream (even said please).  I complied with his ingratiating grin because he had an 'alligator in his throat', which is his way of saying he's got a sore throat.  As we were sitting on the bench in front of Laura Secord I started to tell her story to Callum.  The more I spoke, the more I thought of our life together.  Now, I can't imagine I'll ever have the opportunity to be as brave and heroic as Laura, but the least I can do is be the best person I can, for myself, and for that twinkly-eyed wee man who treats me like I'm a hero every day.

Exercise

40 minutes on elliptical (- 433 calories)

Weight circuit; 12 reps on each machine, with the inner and outer thigh machines added (20 reps each)

Enough puke inducing tummy exercises that I had to channel the strength of Daniel on the Biggest Loser.  I wanted to quit before my reps were done and again, I thought of Daniel's beet red face puffing away at 7 miles per hour on the treadmill (something I've not yet been able to do) and I pushed forward to completion!  Thanks, Daniel.

Food

1 cup Raisin Bran with 1% milk

1.5 litres water

2 sticks bubblemint gum

Tim Horton's egg salad sandwich on whole wheat, with lettuce.  The cool thing was, this Timmy's hardly puts any mayonnaise in the mix.

20 small grapes

Several cuppas

5 'cookies' from a 100 calorie bag

1/2 tin of beans in tomato sauce

Large handful of oven chips, including a few sweet potato oven chips

1 slice 12-grain bread

2 tsp light butter

The chocolate 'Secord' from the top of wee man's ice cream & a spoonful of ice cream.

Now that I write down my food, I realize that I must've been craving protein today.  I had a bit of a difficult mood day today.  I felt snappy, you know, a bit PMS-y.  There were several times when I craved something naughty because I was feeling emotional, but I forced myself to work through it by reasoning out my behaviour.  The grapes in the car really helped!  If they hadn't been there, I'm not sure if I could've resisted a trip to Starbucks.  

Speaking of Starbucks, I used to love the skinny vanilla latte and now I can't seem to enjoy it.  The very odd thing is, now that I've cut back on Splenda and aspartame I can really taste it in food and drinks and I don't like it!  People have always moaned about how they can taste artificial sweeteners and I've poo-pooed them, but I think I'm becoming one.

As an aside, initially when I bought wee man his ice cream I chose 'crunchy chocolate chip', one of my favourite ice creams ever.  He hated it.  He's a vanilla guy.  The more vanilla the better. That's cool 'cause I think he must be really tasting the ice cream and not just the sweet - clever wee man!  I went back and bought him a vanilla ice cream and then was left holding the crunchy chocolate chip.  It spoke to me.  It called to me and cried when I didn't answer.  It just about killed me, but I binned it.  One small taste and I knew I wanted to devour it, but apparently, not badly enough.  Yay me!  That was a major milestone in my journey.

What a great way to say goodnight.

Cupcake

xo

Chilly brrrr!

Yep, I did it!  I went to the gym again today.  Damn, I'm thrilled with myself :)

Exercise

1 hour Body Pump class (weight bar; hand weights; floor work, etc)

35 minutes on elliptical (- 432 calories)

Food

1 cup Raisin Bran cereal with 1% milk

Cuppa

2 litres water

1 Amy's Veggie Loaf meal - scrummy!

1 raisin tea biscuit with light butter & 1 tsp jam (good god it was yummy)

10 small grapes

1 stick bubblemint gum

Vegetable stir-fry, including the strange kohlrabi.  As it turns out, kohlrabi is yummy!  Yay for trying new things :)  It tasted like a very mild cabbage and is apparently very good for you.  I made a super yummy almond butter; Braggs; liquid smoke and rice vinegar sauce for the stir-fry and I really out did myself - it was SO GOOD!

1/3 cup basmati rice

More tea

One more raisin tea biscuit with the above fixins.  My Dad bought 6 raisin tea biscuits during their visit here on the weekend and they left all of them in the freezer.  I must throw out the remaining tea biscuits, as nobody else in the house likes them.

I'm feeling really positive!  The raisin biscuits weren't the best choice today and the almond butter sauce wasn't the lowest in fat, but damn did I really taste and enjoy my dinner!  I won't rip the snot out of myself today.  I will just relax with another cuppa, smile, and be proud of myself for all that I've accomplished today.

Goodnight y'all.

P.S.

Thank you very much to all my friends that have listened to me wingeing about how fat I am, etc.  A new me is on the horizon and I like her!

Cupcake

xo

Did it!

After I dropped wee man off today I wasn't feeling up to going to the gym, so I got in the left hand turning lane from the school.  Luckily there was a red light.  I zoomed over to the right hand lane in a mad panic that I almost didn't go to the gym.  Seems like I have every excuse in the world ready for why I shouldn't go to the gym.  Cool thing is, I went.  It was a hard workout, but I made it!

Exercise

45 minutes treadmill - 400 calories burned

Loads of different tummy exercises

30 minutes shoveling the driveway - BOO

Food

4 cups vegan chili

3 litres water

2 1/2 cuppas

1 mini Babybel (60 cal.)

20 oven chips (bad choice!)

10 Smarties (ack!)

6 medium strawberries

2/3 cup yogurt (fat-free/sugar-free)

1 piece bubblemint gum

In the spirit of trying new things, I bought kohlrabi.  The weird thing is, I had a dream about it last night.  Seemed like a sign that I should try it.  Now I just have to seek out a recipe for this strange and oddly heavy vegetable.

So my goal has been set.  I want to weigh 145 pounds by May of this year.  This means I will have to lose 4 pounds weekly for the next 17 weeks.  Game on!

Cupcake

xo

How the mighty fall.

Thursday after I went to the gym it was time to meet up with my parents.  Everything went downhill from there.  Not their fault.  Habits really do die hard.  My family eats.  Seems like so much we do is based around eating.  Go to the mall, stop for a Starbucks or Tim Horton's.  Go for a walk, get a Starbucks or Tim Horton's.  You get my drift.  That's exactly what happened.  We went out for something to eat and then ate out that night too.  Friday was equally bad.  Saturday was just as bad.  Sunday was the finale.

Today is a new day and instead of giving in to my demons, I went to the gym, despite being super tired.  I'm really proud of myself!  I worked hard today and it paid off.  Not only did I burn some calories, but I burned away that demon from my shoulder.  No, there's no angel on the other.  I'm a bit too naughty in general for an angel.  Maybe a faerie or a wood nymph!

Exercise

Elliptical for 35 minutes (burned 403 calories)

Weight circuit (12 reps on each machine)

Stationary bike for 9 minutes (47 calories... this was only done to alleviate my brain that was stressing over the uneven number of calories burned on the elliptical - aidez moi!!!

*NEW* 40 sit ups on the weird sit up machine

*NEW* 20 side bends on weird side bendy machine (10 each side - hurt like a bitch, but I'd love to have a beautiful hourglass waist... takes hard work)

*NEW* 30 tummy exercises (back flat on floor, legs raised to the ceiling, slowly lowering one leg at a time to the floor)

Food

2 bites of wee man's pancake (incl. syrup)

1 litre water

1 cuppa with milk and sweetener (sweetener as a treat, but I am tapering off)

2 slices multigrain bread (240 calories total)

4 slices veggie turkey slices (100 cal.)

Lettuce

1 tbsp whole grain dijon mustard, aka yummy yum yum!

1 tbsp light mayonnaise

1 raisin tea biscuit (bad choice)

1 tsp butter

2 tsp strawberry jam

1 cup low calorie hot chocolate (60 calories)

2 cups vegan chili (made by moi with only 1 tsp oil in the entire pot)

1/2 oz. semi-sweet chocolate

Soon to come are the measurements.  I first measured quite a while ago and now I need to see for myself where I'm at.  I'm pretty sure my tummy is bigger.  That thing seems to grow just thinking about food.

Wee man's 3rd birthday was on Saturday and husband was taking video of me delivering the cake to the table avec candles.  When I was reviewing the footage I was shocked.  I was horrified.  I was sad.  My tummy was so big!  I have this ring of fat around my chest and around my belly, both very dangerous spots for weight to sit.  I'm not going to feel sorry for myself this time around.  I allowed myself to feel pathetic about it yesterday and now I just need to move on and take charge.  Yay me for going to the gym today!  One other image of myself that made me very scared and sad was a picture T took of me during our recent trip to Toronto.  It was a profile of my face and I realized that I am getting the neck waddle thingy that my Mom's side of the family is afflicted with.  The really freaky thing about this neck is that it doesn't go away.  It's not like I can lose weight and it will fuck off forever.  It hangs around (literally) for the rest of your waddling neck life and I DO NOT want that neck waddle.  I just don't.

Talk is cheap and change is hard, but I will work hard!  Dammit.  I've never had to work hard for anything and for once in my life I should try it.  I betcha I'd feel really proud.

The difference between dreams and goals is timeline.  It is with this in mind that I am going to set a specific goal with a timeline, including the steps along the way.

I will start tasting food.  Enjoying food.  Respecting food, my body and the effect it has on my mind and physical self.

Even more, I am going to be more fiscally responsible.  I spend money like it's going out of style.  My overspending is also a direct result of my low self-esteem.  I get a boost from shopping, just as I get a boost from overeating.

GOISF:

Buying a large box of Timbits for co-workers on a Friday morning and eating them all myself.  I put the box into my very large purse and snuck them all day long.  Gross.

Too close for comfort!

I stuffed a small (crappy) chocolate bear into my mouth, chewed, then chewed a little more and then purged.  No, I didn't barf.  I didn't even swallow (snicker).  I was so desperate to eat something chocolatey, but I wised up before it went down the ol' gullet.  Guess what happened next?  I ploughed a large marshmallow into my mouth and then the same process followed.  

I used to work with this girl who chewed junk food and spit it out all the time.  She'd be sitting at her desk mowing down on a chocolate chip cookie and then next thing you'd know she'd spit it all out, right in front of you!  Fuck, it was sick.  The weird thing is, I thought of her method today and put it into action.  Does she have something there?

Even though it was snowing like mad this morning, I still suited up wee man in his uniform, lugged him to school and then went to the gym.  I thought for sure I'd be the only stupid person to be there - nope!  There were all the same people I'd seen the day before.  Amazing.

Exercise

27 minutes on the elliptical (dammit!) - 338 calories (cool!); I worked really hard today on the elliptical and it paid off.  I burned twice as many calories as I did yesterday!

Weight circuit, plus a few more machines thrown in for good measure.

20 minutes on the stationary bike (very odd concept) - 100 calories

30 minutes hard labour, aka shoveling the driveway.  As I was finishing the driveway, the plough came around.  The driver and I made eye contact.  I gave him my best stink eye/pleading expression I could, but he still covered the end of the driveway with heavy, wet snow.  Bastard.

Food

2 slices 12-grain bread

1 large egg

4 slices veggie 'bacon', I call it 'facon'

1 squirt low sugar, organic ketchup

2 litres water (more to come)

2 sticks bubblemint gum (so yummy - it's bubble gum with a hint of mint)

1 can Diet Pepsi

A friend of mine in Vancouver, whom I rarely hear from, jotted me a nice e-mail today.  He's seeing a woman now and she (in a playful way) is jealous of me.  She thinks I'm beautiful (her words).  It's been a while since anyone called me beautiful.  I love her.  

This compliment came at a perfect time.  I was feeling rather dowdy today at the gym.  There was this perfect specimen of a woman getting changed beside me and she smelled lovely (she was just arriving), looked perfect and had the best, most girly gym clothes.  She was even putting lotion on her tanned, athletic legs.  I was doing up my ugly jeans and trying to hide my eczema!

I got a bit of money for Xmas and I decided today that one thing I'm going to buy is some pampering for me.  A mani/pedi are in need!  When I lived in B.C. I would pamper myself quite regularly and now that we are in Ontario it's fallen by the wayside.  Pretty toes!  I can't wait.  I actually have really pretty feet when they're shown at their best.

I'm ranting.

Cupcake

xo

Tea please, no sweetener.

A dear friend of mine asked me to have my first cuppa today with no sweetener and then tell him what it tasted like.  I love this man, he's fantastic and that's the only reason I complied with the request.  I was dreading having a cuppa sans sweetener.  I even made it in a small mug so there was less to endure!  First sip - blech!  Second sip - less blech!  As I went on I was become more and more of a tea connoisseur, really tasting the tea.  It was a touch bitter, but the essence of bergamot was delicious.  For the next week I am going to try not to put sweetener in my tea.  Was his motive to get me to actually taste and enjoy something without the mask of sweet?  Whatever your motive, thank you.  I love that you care.

Today's been not too bad.  Dropped off the wee man at school and headed for the gym.  After a few wrong turns I could feel myself getting discouraged and thinking, "At this rate, I should just turn back 'cause I won't have time for a proper workout", no shame I swear.  The gym near wee man's school was pretty small and they didn't have towel service which almost made me turn back again, but I didn't.  Thank goodness right?  Ha ha.  

With iPod in hand, I headed for the elliptical, a machine I tend to use a lot when I go to the gym.  That sucker burns off way more calories than the treadmill and it's a touch more exciting 'cause your arms move too.  God I'm pathetic.  I set a lofty program and sadly couldn't make it all the way through, but in the end made it 27 minutes going full tilt, with a result of 170 calories burned.

The weight circuit was next on the agenda and I completed it like a star and actually enjoyed it a lot.  It was nice to remember that I actually have muscles.  To feel them again was quite novel!  All in all, I was there for around an hour and a half.  Am I proud?  Yeppers.

Food diary:

2.5 litres water

1/2 cup basmati rice

1 cup homemade veg and chick pea curry

1/2 naan (bad decision)

1 sweetener free cuppa

1 cup sweet potato soup (homemade)

1/2 12-grain bagel

2 tbsp cream cheese

1 stick of gum

1 elbow macaroni (testing to see if it was cooked)

GOISF:

Just a mere few days ago I bought a box of the crappiest, most revolting prepackaged mini caramel cakes and ate the whole damn box.  Puke.  They really are disgusting and I knew it, but I kept at it.  

The demons in my head cannot get the better of me.  I really am a good person.  I crave love from others.  I think it's because I don't love myself.  I wonder what that's like?  To love yourself I mean.  As far back as I can remember I've felt inferior and subpar.  Can I retrain my brain at this age?  Can I break the mould?

cupcake

xo

Very bad start to the year...

Promises, promises.

Yep, I fucked up.  Good thing is, I have actually learned some lessons over the last wee while.  

I shan't go over all of the woes I've had during the last month or so.  Instead, I am going to move onwards and upwards.  No promises.  One day at a time for me.  It's just the way it has to be.

Tonight I watched the premiere of a show called, "Being Erica" on CBC.  It was amazing to me how poignant the topic of the show was for me.  I really need to value my own opinion.  I've spent so much of my life more concerned with what other people think of me, than I have thinking about how valuable my own opinion is.  Yep, it will take some serious brain re-training, but it's my brain, I should be able to do it.

Today was a huge moment in our lives; our wee man started school!  He is moving onwards and upwards and it is my duty to myself and my family to do the same for myself.  For those of you who didn't know this about me, I socially smoke.  Well, I did.  It's not a NY resolution to stop, just a smart decision that was made upon reflection of my life.  I can't bear the idea that one day our wee man might have to visit me in the hospital, wondering why I chose cigarettes over him.  I choose good health.  I choose my family.  And for all my smoker friends, I will never get all preachy with you about it.

After I drop Callum off at school tomorrow I am going to go to my gym, workout on the elliptical, and then do the weight circuit.  A true suburban Mum, but I'll wear that title like a badge.

Grim moment of the NY:

Realizing that Dr. Phil had caramel sauce all over his head.  Yep, I rested a caramel cake on my weight loss book - yikes!  Time for a change, eh?

Cupcake

xo