Day Four

Am so proud of myself!  This morning I was in a meeting that started early enough that I couldn't get out for my morning walk.  I was pretty worried that this would mean the demise of the exercise portion of the 30-day challenge.  Then I thought I would just walk up to meet Wee Man at the bus stop; the round trip, walking very briskly would be about 40 minutes.  It was like the no exercise gods were out to get me today; the wind and rain started up something fierce and I knew the walk to the bus was not happening.

Wee Man, as it turns out, is totally sick.  He's running a fever and needed some TLC that only a Mom can deliver.  The plan to take him with me to the gym was now out too.  

After loads of love and attention the Wee Man drifted off and I made my break.  The gym was very unappealing at this point, so I bundled up, and walked to the library to return my giant sack of books, then to the video store, to return my giant stack of movies (and got more), got some cash for Saturday night, and made my way back home.  How productive was that???  Good gravy!  I am so stoked right now.

In the face of adversity I prevailed!  Go, me!

Still no sugar.

I walked a fine line at Whole Foods today; was my curried wheatberry salad (best.  salad. ever.) considered a take-away?  After much deliberation, I decided it was not.  If I'd indulged in their sandwiches or such like, it defo would've been a take-away.  I reasoned it out that we buy that salad as a side dish, so it couldn't be considered a take-away.  There is a bit of guilt there though.

I'm really proud of myself right now and it feels good.

Now, I shall put on my Super Mummy hat and go sneak in Wee Man's room to make sure he's okay.

A.

Day Three

Day three is over, and again I did very well!  Hooray!

Exercise? ✓
No sugar? ✓
No take-aways? ✓

The bed time I set out for myself seems to be a much more difficult task; I just don't like going to bed early. Last night I didn't go to bed until midnight, despite the goal of lights out by 10:30 a.m.

Some really great news is, I came home for lunch today (I was busy running errands) and made a super yummy sandwich.  This is great news because I was so close to just getting a sandwich from somewhere healthy, with the caveat that at least it was healthy.  What is one of my goals?  NO TAKE-AWAYS!  I can't believe that on only the third day I almost caved.  Actually I can.  I am so amazed at how many times I buy food, coffee, and junk!  This is shaping up to be a great reality check.

I have noticed my mood and energy levels are great in the morning (once I'm out on my walk in the forest), but by late-ish evening I am so sluggish.  Tonight I have a headache and I'm pretty sure it's my body complaining about the low sugar levels.  I guess my body will still be trying to function as normal; normal being a huge amount of sugar.  My guess is that by the end of this week I'll be feeling much better.

Saturday is a bit of a bummer because I am going to buy my one take-away meal allotted for the month.  In actuality I don't want to buy any take-aways at all, but one of my closest friends is having her birthday and I can't really miss her celebratory dinner and evening out.  It does make me a bit sad to not have a full 30 days.  Then again, if I try in December I'll have all the excuses of 'the season'.  At least I am making a commitment to myself.  And really, what would life be like if there was no flexibility?  It still does bum me out though because I know I could do this.  Alas, time to move on and not focus on a future hiccup.

Bime for ted.

A.

Cascade curls.

Despite being a bit of a dirty find, I recently (literally) stumbled upon a step-by-step of how to do cascade curls.  I was taking pictures outside an abandoned old folks home and someone had thrown the beauty manual out of the window.  It's too bad that most of the pages had blown away because it would've been nice to have a retro hairstyles instruction manual!

I think I'll try this out tonight on my own hair and see how it goes.

Day Two

DAY TWO has begun with a bit of a rocky start; I feel so tired!  I noticed last night, after Wee Man was down to bed, that I was really struggling with the no sugar thing.  It seems like as soon as he's in bed, we gather up loads of crappy foods, sit down and either watch the telly, chat, or read.  All of those things are pretty good, except for the obvious - the crappy food.

Emotional eating is my thing.  So last night I patted myself on the back for passing by the giant bowl of Hallowe'en candy, despite my heart being broken by Wee Man; he told me he didn't like me.

Good news is, I squeezed my moderately fat arse into my walking yoga pants, oh yes people, they do have those, and went for a 40 minute very brisk walk through the forest.  When I say very brisk walk, I'm not sure if it really was.  It felt like it.  There was a gray haired granny coming up quickly behind me, so I may be in worse shape than previously thought.

Also, I guess I need to start drinking water.  Why do I hate water so much?!  Sometimes when I'm downing what seems to be my 800th glass of H20 I think of all the people who would die (literally) to have it, just to try and encourage myself to drink it.  Who am I kidding?  I can't even remember the last time I had a glass of water.  Sick.

Day One

DAY ONE of my 30-day challenge has started off well, although this is to be expected. At the end of this week it'll be interesting to see where I'm at and how I'm feeling.

Waking up to the sun shining again was really nice; I almost thought I'd slept in! The change definitely made for an easier time getting up and out of bed.

After sending Wee Man off on the school bus, I went for a very pleasant walk for 40 minutes. The sun was shining, the air was chilly, but not too cold. All in all, it was a great way to start my day. Actually it was a funny reminder today that winter is on it's way, when I heard people scraping the frost off of their windshields.

When I got home from the walk I immediately started taking down all of the Hallowe'en decorations outside. Then I prepped the garage for two cars being in it instead of just one; the frost covered my car this morning! I spent about half an hour sweeping and rearranging the garage, so I got a bit of exercise and a lot of satisfaction from that.

The no sugar thing is going pretty well. I say pretty well because I reached for the strawberry jam for my toast this morning and realized it was off limits. Also, when I went to move the Hallowe'en candy (of which there is a sick amount), I went to dip my sugar loving paw into the bowl for a confectionary delight, but I resisted. The Hallowe'en candy is going to be an issue. None of us need the candy, including Wee Man. A friend of mine in B.C. is going to tell her daughter about the "Switch Witch". Who's that you ask? She is the lovely witch that will switch all of your Hallowe'en treats into a nice new toy. What a great idea! I am going to try that this evening with our son.

I figured now is a good time to blog because I really want to snack on something sugary and yummy, but this is a much better way to spend my time. The washer and dryer have just stopped, so I'll occupy my time with that now.

So far, so good.

The sun'll come out, tomorrow.

I keep hearing about 30-day exercise challenges. I've even known a few people to do them. I guess because I don't know how, or maybe just refuse to follow what others do, my 30-day challenge will have a twist. Yes, there will be exercise, but there will be less exercising my right to sugar and ridiculous spending.

Tomorrow brings with it a promise to not eat sugar for 30-days. My body, heart and soul love sugar. The way it dissolves in my mouth, my tongue enrobed with it's lusciousness... ahhh. However, my health is taking a toll, so I need to challenge myself in order to shake up my oh 30 year love affair with my sugary sweet love.

Also, there will be not one take-away, food court, drive-thru meal. No matter how healthy a take-away can be, I will not be having one. Of course when I mentioned this to a friend of mine, she immediately said, "But what about my birthday?". I was a bit miffed for various reasons that need not be discussed here, but I will give in for that one meal (NOT the whole day that I'll be spending with her). Of course my Mom's birthday cake will also have to be a small amount of sugar ingested. Isn't it crazy? Thing is, people get really hurt when you don't share in their food celebrations. Should I outright refuse? I want to. Not because I don't care for, or love these people (or all the rest of the peeps that would want the same from me), but because I want to challenge myself and win!

Starting tomorrow the shit may hit the sugar-free fan.

To sum this up, here is what my 30-day challenge is:

1. 30+ minutes of continuous exercise that gets my heart rate up, everyday for the next 30 days.
2. No sugar. I will be eating things such as potatoes and bread, etc. I just won't be eating candies, ice cream, cakes, etc, etc.
3. No take-aways; food court trips; drive-thrus, etc.
4. I'll blog daily about all of this.
5. Go to bed every weeknight by 10 p.m., and lights out by 10:30 p.m. Weekends will be business as usual.

I will review and total the number of dollars we as a family spent during the last month on crap foods. Then at the end of my 30-day challenge, I will let you know how much money I've saved. Also, I am going to try to convince my husband not to buy his lunches on a daily basis. The likelihood is that I'll have to make his lunches for him, but I don't mind. I just really want us to see how much our buying these meals that we don't even normally enjoy (!) is effecting our bank account and our general well being.

This experience will no doubt be difficult, but I'm up for the challenge. If any of you would like to join me in any of the challenges I've laid out for myself, or something you've thought of, please let me know.

A.

Soul searching.

It's amazing that I just turned 35. Where the hell did the time go? I'm half way to 70. Good lord.

Lately I find myself searching, but I don't even know for what. There's this push to do something with my life. Yes, I am happily married, have the best kid in the world (don't even try to pretend your kid is better than mine), lovely family (both blood and marriage related), fantastic friends, etc, etc. What more could a gal want?

A career in photography? That'd be nice. (cue shameless plug) If you haven't already checked out my photos, please do so: http://www.flickr.com/honig

Freelance writing? Also a very fine idea. Thank you for reading my blog.

When I was younger I was painfully shy. I had two nicknames that stuck with me for the duration of middle school; pinky and Casper, oh yeah and fog patch. You get the idea, right? White as a ghost unless I'm otherwise embarrassed, or sun burned, neither of which took much effort.

Through my twenties my blushing continued and was considered endearing, cute even. Granted my level of confidence increased greatly starting at about age 24 and continued for the next handful of years. During the confidence years, my blushing was usually kept for especially embarrassing moments, or even moments of being in the spotlight.

Now that I'm in my thirties, I am blushing more, my confidence has changed, and I get embarrassed really easily. Even though I get nervous speaking with strangers, I make a valiant attempt to do so in front of my son. It's important for him to see me socializing and having enough confidence and chutzpah to speak to people I don't know. They are after all, just people.

Recently I joined the Parents' Association at my son's school; so far so good. The really annoying thing is that I've reverted to my middle school days as far as embarrassment and shyness. What the?? I find that I've got so many great ideas (yes, I'm biased, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong!) but I never voice them. Inevitably a couple of ideas have been thought of by other members, but still, I should be speaking up.

I need to take charge. Everyone around me, and most importantly, me, can only benefit from this very key change.

On the note of change, I have decided to tighten the old purse strings a bit. Shoving vanilla latte after vanilla latte down my gullet is making my waist line expand and my wallet shrink. It's sick and wrong. I fell into the trap of a major coffee chain again, and I don't like it. Wasting money is stupid.

My goal is to shake up many aspects of my life (again) and make a commitment (again) to myself. Here are the things I'd like to adhere to:

1. Only one vanilla latte per week.
2. No more shopping for clothing (for me) until 2010. And no, this does not mean that I can go nutso on January 1, 2010.
3. I must go to the gym at least 3 times per week. Note: # 1- #3 go together very well. If I stop the regular coffee shop purchases, and go to the gym, I won't need to go shopping for clothing because I already have a wonderful selection of clothing for someone with less avoir du poids!
4. Cakes, pies, etc can only be purchased for special occasions.
5. If I want cookies, I have to make them.
6. One take-away meal per week only. Friday night is the perfect time for this.
7. I will become a flyer whore. Researching the best deals only makes sense. The corporations do not need any more of our money!
8. A plan will be set to help with the following: spending less and all the cool techniques for this (I am SO good at this... at least the plan bit) & improving my self-esteem.
9. Start a website strictly for my more artsy photographs.
10. Try my hand at freelance online writing.

That's enough for now (ya think??). Just like me to get all gung ho (where does that phrase come from?) and overwhelm myself.

The good news is, today after the P.A. meeting I was starving, but I went home for lunch instead of my usual behaviour of going out for shopping and eating. Well done, me.

\,,/(^^)\,,/

Allison

The time is nigh.

This morning I sit at my computer. Nothing unusual there. The different thing today is I opened iTunes first. My theory was that I would start my day off with the first song in my collection of music, and that would set my mood. What was the first song? "A-Tisket, A-Tasket" by Ella Fitzgerald. Can a day go poorly when you start off with a gorgeous tune like that? In the words of Ella, "No no no noooo".

Next in line is the distinctive sound of Fu-Schnickens, "Aaaaaah Ooooooh!" Any song that includes a lyric à la Daffy Duck, "Ssssthufferin' succotash" simply cannot lead you astray.

I'm on song three now, and somehow my mood has already become introspective; the song leads my path. "Abalonia" by Talvin Singh is taking me on a journey; it makes me think on a deeper level. There's nothing quite like Indian music fused with electronica.

Despite my recent weight gain, and subsequent shift to feeling blue, the start to this day gives me fresh perspective and hope.

My photography has been picking up quite a lot, as is my involvement with Wee Man's school. Life is not difficult, yet I am bound and determined to make it so on many occasions. The infectious sounds of Alex St. Clair Snouffer's guitar playing has my body moving and mind flowing. "ABBA Zaba" by Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band, is something everyone should hear in their lifetime.

Of course learning the ABCs and 123s is where I need to start my line of thinking; The Pipettes is where it's at. Strange thing is, I can't focus very well listening to them. My brain is all over the place. Music seems to have such a profound effect on one's brain.

Just to further the complete brain freak out, some of my husband's crazed music is on now; "Above the Sky" by Airwave. This kind of music makes me feel frantic, in fact, I'm going to change it.

I'm a mixed up blur of emotion, uncertainty and confusion. Amazing how quickly my mood can change just with the music I'm listening to. Make no wonder it's a challenge for humans to live together! Since I cheated and moved forward in the list of music, I closed my eyes and clicked; "Puer Natus Est Nobis" by The Benedictine Monks is filling my ears and soul. When I was 15 I signed up for that crazy magazine filler offer of 7 CDs for $1 or whatever it was; The Benedictine Monks was one of my first choices. Over the years I've lost, given away, or had stolen many CDs, but this one has managed to stay with me. As you can imagine it brings back loads of feelings when I hear their enchanting voices. Memories of being a confused young girl; realizations of being a confused mid-30s woman.

Some shake-ups and life changes are in order. Things I've not done before will be done. Adventures I've not taken will be taken. Steps, of which there will be many, will be taken one at a time. As these tears stream down my face, I question why? Am I feeling relieved? I think so. Have I just figured something out? I feel like I have, but I don't know what it is.

Actively I chose, "Big Stuff" by Billie Holiday just now. She knows. Soon I will too. I'm already well on my way.

This blog will be getting an overhaul. Stay tuned.

Cupcake is no longer working for me. I am no longer her.

xo

Screeching halt, literally.

Yo. So I've been working out regularly, but stopped on Friday, is in, I haven't been since Friday. I've been at my parent's house and the first day I arrived I didn't have time for a workout, but ended up visiting the gym 3 times and then also running the track behind their house once. Not bad.

On Sunday when I was driving home from their house I was rear-ended on the 401 W. Yep, it totally sucked! I swore very loudly, "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot", fill in your own swears. I'm feeling pretty sore still but after a visit with my Doctor, I feel confident that the soreness is pretty typical and I should make a full recovery.

To add insult to injury though, I can't go to the gym right now because I don't want to upset my body. After this week is over, I'm okay to go back but I'm really afraid of falling off the wagon. This will be a true test to my dedication. The good news about my dedication is that I have stayed true to my healthier eating, as in, not pigging out and being ridonkulous just because I can't exercise.

The old me would have already started wolfing treats with the excuse that I was feeling crappy, or something. This new me has scaled down the food intake to compensate for the lack of exercise.

Oh yeah, I weighed myself this afternoon (not the best time to do it) and I am at 191.6. It's taking a long time to come off this go around, but I'm confident it will get better with a positive outlook and good life lasting habits. Whoa, for a second there I felt like I just puked out a self help book!

I think I'll keep a food diary during this week, even though there won't be any exercise to report. That being said, maybe I can go for brisk walks. Hmm.

cupcake

xo

I'll keep on fightin'

Seems like I might not be quite as obsessed with my weight as I have been previously. This may be a very good thing. Yes, I weigh myself at least twice a day, but I don't find there's anything wrong with that (for me). I keep weighing myself and then trying to remember to divulge the results here, but then I forget the number (this is a good thing). I do believe though that I weigh around 192 or 193.

This weekend I kept up with my healthful ways and am really proud of myself for that. Sure I had a few beers with some friends on Saturday night, and indulged in a slice of chocolate torte today, but I refuse to beat myself up for it. Actually I've been totally obsessing about the amount of calories that must've been in that crazy delicious torte, but I have to just let it go.

I gave myself the day off of working out yesterday, but other than that I've been keeping up with my regular regime :)

It's off to the 'rents house tomorrow... this will be a true test of my dedication. Fingers crossed!

cupcake

xo

Running

This week has been a bit of a bust as far as regular postings go, but it's not indicative of my successes on the gym front and eating right. In fact, the other day I tried running. Man oh man, it was tough and my legs were very sore the next morning, actually that was this morning. I can't seem to keep track of time!

I was so not into going to the gym today, but I did it anyway. What excuse do I have? Work? Nope. School? Nope. The workout was sweat-laden but I felt so good once I was done, really invigorated and inspired by my own get up and go. Despite my legs protesting, I ran again today and did quite well.

Silly thing is, one of my goals is to be able to outrun an attacker. Isn't that insane? Geez. I have this total fear that someone will be stalking me at night or something, but I'll be so out of shape and lardy that I won't be able to get away. I'll be like a porcupine, only I don't have any fancy quills I can shoot out! Oh yeah, I'm not inviting any potential attackers to challenge me!!

My food has been going well, but I use that term loosely; I've not been eating enough. It's not intentional starving, just that I can't seem to find enough time in the day at the mo'. I always eat breakfast, but lunch is a miss these days and dinner has been too because Graham hasn't been home from work until really late this week, so the first chance I get to sit down properly isn't 'til about 9 p.m. Once that time rolls around, I can't be eating, so I just avoid it all together and have a cup of tea instead. So not good. Amazing how comforting tea can be to an empty stomach though!

Total side note: I just ran up a flight of stairs at top speed to get the phone, and was met with, "Uuhh, hello? Yes ma'am can I speak to the owner of the house?" NO! Dammit, don't you know how much it hurt to just sprint up the stairs with my aching legs. Frig.

Anyway, my goal for next week is to keep up with the gym, as well as manage my time a bit better. Wee Man and I are going to my parent's house for a visit next week and I'm pretty nervous about the eating style that goes on there, and also the fact that I'd like to still go to the gym, but it's a whole city away (it'd be like driving from Oakville to Burlington), but I know they won't get it. They'll just want me to use their home equipment, but I can't get into the swing of it all unless I'm actually at the gym. Maybe I'll have to "Suck it up, cupcake", grow a set and just tell them I'm going!

It's official. I joined and paid for the running clinic! The clinic starts on August 11th and goes for 8 weeks. I sure hope I can do this. I hope to have the wise thoughts of The Little Engine that Could: "I think I can! I think I can!" and then, "I knew I could! I knew I could!" A little faith in myself wouldn't go amiss.

I'll step on the scale tomorrow morning and post the results here. The weight loss is slow moving this time around. I think my body's trying to punish me for all the roller coaster ups and downs.

Any runners out there, I'd love to hear some tips. Also, some good vegetarian recipes would be very welcome too... from anyone, not just runners :p

Food

1 cup Special K Cinnamon Pecan cereal (to die for) with 1% milk (approx. 175 cal.)

1 frozen yogurt popsicle (50 calories)

1 glass Coke Zero (pretty self explanatory on the calorie value!)

That is it... can you believe that?!

Exercise

- 507 calories on elliptical

- 213 calories on treadmill (ran one minute on, one minute off)

cupcake

xo

Weigh-in time.

On a side note, it's time for me to measure and weigh myself. I was pretty cocky about this when I originally started this blog in January (?) but am now a touch more sheepish. Frig it. I have nothing to hide.

The really great thing is, I receive so many nice e-mails and comments from people, friends, or otherwise, that encourage me, or confirm that I encourage them to move forward and strive for better. It's a really nice feeling - thank you!

I was trolling the internet today and ended up stumbling across one of the strangest inventions I've ever seen: the toilet scale. Wha? It is what you think. It will weigh you when you sit down and then weigh you after you have a B.M. Apparently the designer, Haikun Deng, has geared this towards women who are totally obsessed with their weight and need reassurance at all times that they are losing weight. Good grief.

The last thing I want to be doing after the 'doo' as she calls it, is lifting my legs up straight in front of me (your feet can't be touching the ground) and wait for my weight to be registered.

I would like to try getting weighed whilst suspended though, now that sounds cool! Of course I don't want to weigh as much as a horse in order to get that chance!

cupcake

xo

Epic fail.

Yes, it's true. Epic fail on the eating front since Saturday night. Oh man, how easy it is to get sidelined. One night out. A few beers. A few chips. And I'm off.

Sunday and Monday were filled with disgusting eating habits that were actually making me feel sick, but I just kept going. Now it may seem like a bit of a cop out, but I was trying to make myself feel like shit. The thought process behind that silliness? So that I won't do it again. Good luck with that!

Graham had the morning off of work and we headed to the gym together - how cool is that?! It was nice having some friendly competition. The regular location of my gym is women only, so today I got to experience a different location, one where G-ram wouldn't be scrutinized for having cojones.

The unisex gym was so different! Everyone was totally presentable for one thing. None of this roll out of bed and drag yourself to the gym. Male and female looked coiffed; outfits were all matchy match, it was a crazy difference. There's got to be a sociology paper begging to be written about this.

Food

1 cup Fibre cereal with Bran Flakes and 1% milk

½ roasted veggie sandwich with melted mozzarella (I had great hopes for this sandwich, but it ended up just being like pizza)

1 tall fat-free vanilla latté

3 slices of organic Golden Delicious apple

1 cuppa with milk & Splenda

1 hamburger bun

1 veggie burger patty with bbq sauce

Handful of baby carrots

Exercise

• - 700 calories on the elliptical
• Mowed the lawn

cupcake

xo

Still chugging along.

I forgot to write an entry yesterday, but at least I know it's not because I fell off the wagon. I am going strong!

Exercise:

• - 503 calories burned on elliptical
• 30 crunches
• 30 leg lifts
• 9 puke inducers

On the note of exercise, I should've done the weight circuit and an additional (min.) 197 calories on the treadmill, but I just could NOT do it. The last 2 days at the gym have been super hard and I have no idea why. Today I barely, and I mean barely made it through the workout on the elliptical. I knew if I tried the treadmill afterwards that I might collapse. The deal I made with myself, yes I was having a whole conversation with myself in my head, was that if I didn't do the weight circuit or the treadmill that I have to do my mat work (crunches, etc) and do the weight circuit tomorrow. My poor stems are feeling tired though, and good tired :)

Food:

1 cup Fibre cereal with Bran Flakes & 1% milk

1 litre water

1 cup Diet Coke

Veggie sandwich from Richtree (bun a bit bigger than I should've indulged in)

Tall fat-free vanilla latte (150 cal.)

Tonight is date night with Graham and I'm really looking forward to it. We are watching Coraline; they even included 3D glasses with the rental. I also rented Confessions of a Shopaholic. I totally love Sophie Kinsella, she is one funny bird! On the note of Sophie, I was thrilled to see a new book written by her in the bookstore today! In the last 2 days I've purchased 4 books and am desperate for one more: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Oh, back to date night; I'm kind of worried about the food this evening... delicious pizza. I must practice some self control.

Tomorrow is going to be even more difficult as it's Gallately Beerfest! Oh, it's going to be a good 'un.

cupcake

xo

SWASS

Ya know, I don't even remember the last time I had a day that felt as good as this one. I worked hard, and I mean hard, at the gym today. Strangely, the caloric results were really similar as normal, but I forgot to check how long I took doing the exercising, I think it must've been less.

I needed to go grocery shopping, and since my gym is in the grocery store, I normally go shopping after I work out. Today, not so much. I just couldn't bear how sweaty I was. It was ridiculous! After turning around to check myself out in the mirror, I realized there was no way I could traipse around with my SWASS (please note, the SWASS in this picture is not mine)! As it turns out, it was a very good idea to go home and just take care of myself. I felt really good having done it.

I won't go into all the ins and outs of the day and why it was great, but I thought it important to point out that there are really good days in life, and I hope to have many more! There might be something to all this not thinking negatively stuff...

Exercise

• - 508 calories on elliptical
• - 195 calories on treadmill
• 30 crunches
• 30 leg lifts
• 9 puke inducers
• 12 reps on each of the 9 weight machines in the circuit, plus 15 reps on each inner and outer thigh machines, and 12 reps (each leg) on the glute machine
• TOTAL CALORIES BURNED: - 703... the unevenness of this number is very disturbing

Food

1 cup Fibre cereal with Bran Flakes with 1% milk (approx. 270 cal.)

1 litre water

2 slices light bread (110 cal.)

2 slices fake turkey (50 cal.)

1 squirt of light mayo, I make it sound so good! (25 cal.)

1 healthy squirt of dijon

Lettuce (2 leaves on the sarni)

Handful of very small carrots

Glass of Diet Pepsi™

6 baked potato chips (50 cal.)

1 Babybel™ gouda cheese round (60 cal.!)

2 eggs (140 cal.)

2 slices light bread (110 cal.)

Squirt of organic ketchup

½ tsp light butter

½ medium apple

1 cuppa with 1% milk and Splenda™

cupcake

xo

Workin' to the bone, bone, bone!

There I was just a walkin' down the street, when I was met with an elderly gentleman cruising down Lakeshore on his rascal (a very fancy one). He looked right at my eyes and said, "Well, don't you look beautiful today." I tell you what, he sure put a bounce in my step! What a nice thing to say to someone :)

I kind of wondered if I was showing a bit more of my happy self, even just walking down the street. As many of you know, once we start treating ourselves with love and respect, we feel better. I still haven't been able to figure out how to fix the emotional stuff, nor the self image issues and they are serious.

Must admit, I have found myself on the scale at least twice a day since I started my latest health regime. It's got to be a bit defeatist but I do it anyway. I do find that when I ignore the scale, I end up in a bit of a pickle because it's almost like I can pretend the weight's not adding up if I don't see the number. Maybe there could be an argument for the positives of checking the scale (at least) daily.

Exercise

• - 506 calories on the elliptical
• - 194 calories on the treadmill
• TOTAL CALORIES BURNED = 700

Food

1 cup Fibre cereal plus Bran Flakes with 1% milk

3 organic strawberries (on top of the yummy cereal.. mmm...)

1 litre water

Bowl of very veggified vegetarian veggie soup

3/4 flaxseed bagel lightly buttered on one side only (the 1/4 left was unbuttered...)

Can of Diet Pepsi™

Grande Earl Gray tea with skim milk & Splenda™

50 calorie frozen yogurt bar - SO GOOD!

1 veggie dog with small amount of mustard & ketchup

1 whole grain bun (150 calories)

Approx. 1/8 cup green peas

10 mini carrots

1 vegan thingy (I'll remember what they were called at some point... 27 cal.)

1 tsp light butter

1 cuppa with 1% milk & Splenda™

I feel really happy right now :) The only thing bugging me is that I have to pee, like really badly! Ciao!

cupcake

xo

Bustin' a move.

Exercise:

• 203 calories treadmill
• 457 calories elliptical
• 30 crunches; 30 leg lifts; 9 puke inducers
• 12 reps on each of the 9 machines in the weight circuit + 15 reps on each inner & outer thigh machines; 12 reps (each leg) on the glute machine
• TOTAL CALORIES BURNED (on elliptical & treadmill) = 660

Food:

1 cup Fibre plus Bran Flakes with 1% milk

2 slices light bread (110 calories)

2 slices fake turkey slices (50 calories)

Small amount of marble cheese & mustard

Small glass of Coke Zero™

1 granola bar (DAMMIT!!!!) (140 calories)

2 medium ears of corn (I only meant to have one, but they were so good...)

2 tbsp light butter

4 fake chicken strips

10 baby carrots

1 tbsp light plum sauce

Man alive, I can't believe I just devoured a granola bar. I am so disappointed in myself. I was busting with hunger and before I knew it I was wolfing down a (very yummy) granola bar worth 140 calories!!!

Won't get down on self. Won't get down on self.

My neighbour, who totally rocks, is now fully aware that I am going to the gym. Hmm, this means I've got a watchful eye living right next door to me, he even asked me about how it was going and gave me some advice. I think this is a good thing. Another person rooting for me - lucky me!

I was pretty much ravenous today, but after my massive dinner (doh!) I have defo settled down. A cup of tea is begging to be made, then it's off to bed!

Sayonara!

cupcake

xo

Never fear!

Sunday evening and I'm feeling pretty darn good.

I bet you were wondering, dear reader, whether or not I'd already fallen off the positivity wagon, right? Well, I didn't! Since Wednesday, I've been going to the gym everyday and since Thursday I've been eating right.

On Saturday night a few of us gals went out to a local pub and sang karaoke. Now for some, this would be a regular thing and nothing new or special. For me? A completely knee-knocking, terrifying, yet exciting experience!

First, I sang with my friend J, then again with J and then BY MYSELF! I was so shit scared, but I did it anyway. I figure, losing weight, eating right, making the right decisions for my/our lives, all fall into the same lump category: bravery. For me, it takes so much courage and bravery to make the right decisions. I have no idea where I went wrong in my life that it doesn't just come naturally, but I am going to be more brave from now on. Like J said to me on Saturday, "What's the worst than can happen?" and she's spot on. The worst thing that came of me being on stage was I met some more people and had a few even dancing! Gee, that's so scary - not!

On the note of bravery, I am going to join a running clinic that is put on by a trainer at my gym. I was totally honest with her, gave her the lo down of how unfit I am, and she assured me that if I followed her training I'd be just fine in the classes. Thing is, because I've never been a runner, I don't have any re-training of technique to do. Sweet! There is no doubt this is going to be very difficult, but I really feel like I'm up for it. My end goal is to run in the CIBC Run for the Cure on October 4th. The run is 5 km and according to the trainer, I should be set for the run, trusting that I follow her technique, etc.

With my 35th birthday approaching on October 10th, I seem to have this push to do new things before that magical moment where I'm in my mid-30s. Very odd indeed.

I feel pumped and happy! I've got great family, great friends and a great new attitude towards life. Of course, "Suck it up, cupcake" is still my favourite mantra :)

cupcake

xo

Yaaawwwnn...

Mmm, stayed up a bit too late last night. I got home around 11:30 p.m., watched an episode of Nurse Jackie, turned out the lights and proceeded to stare at the dark ceiling for what seemed like an eternity. Ever have those nights? I didn't even feel tired, but I knew I should be. Sometimes I find some mindless crap on the t.v. to help lull me to sleep, but I wanted to go it alone last night. I think the t.v. and I will find something vapid to watch tonight.

The good news is, I had a really pleasant evening with my friend J.

I find myself wishing for a rainy day today. Odd, I know. Well, not really that odd for me. When it really comes down to it, I think I'm looking for an excuse to stay in my jammies and do at home stuff.

My ankles are feeling the effects of working out the last two days; I forgot about the squeaky achilles thing. I think I'll just use the treadmill today, then again, the treadmill seems to take forever to burn calories.

This morning's breakfast was particularly yummy. I ate my favourite cereal and then chopped up the sweetest, most delicious, organic strawberries. Yum!

Food diary:

• 1 cup PC Fibre cereal with Bran Flakes; 1% milk & approx 4 chopped organic strawberries
• 1 cuppa with 1% milk and Splenda™ (currently going cold whilst I type this)

A friend recently told me that I'm really hot and cold. At first I was a touch offended and then realized it was just because I knew he was right. It seems like many areas of my life are begging for consistency.

Now off to motivate myself for the gym.

More later.

cupcake

xo

Mitten, mitten, who's got the mitten?

After removing the mittens from my gym back, I laughed, packed up my summer gym clothes and away we went. Callum and Mummy, together at the gym! The beautiful thing about my gym is there is a kid's play area, fully monitored by two attendants who are certified CPR folks. There are wonderful toys, other kids, and loads of fun to be had :)

It was really difficult to motivate myself, but I made a promise, not only to me, but to T. I didn't want to let either one of us down.

Again today I went to the gym with Wee Man and I had a great time, and so did he! Woo hoo! I pushed myself hard today, but was nowhere near the level I was when I stopped going to the gym regularly in February. The good news is, this revelation cleared up something in my head; I was doing well before, I had achieved something to be proud of, and I can do it again.

One thing that's going to be really tough is the food thing. Man oh man, my eating habits would shame anyone; I really am gross with food. The food diary is going to have to come back. Starting today.

Food diary:

1 cup fibre cereal with 1% milk

1 cuppa with 1% and a packet of Splenda™ (I tried to live w/o it, but I can't!)

1 frozen mac 'n' cheese (250 calories... not the healthiest choice)

1 medium peach

1 litre water

1 handful mixed nuts

Large salad with the following ingredients: green leaf lettuce; toasted raw almonds; red pepper; celery; onion; grated gouda and a very light dressing made with grapeseed oil and mustard

1/2 chick'n breast stuffed with corn and black beans

1 ear of delicious corn with 3/4 fat butter

1 handful of sweet and yummy strawberries

1 large spoonful of Activia™ yogurt

There is a vanilla cake with a fresh strawberry layer in the middle that is calling my name. It's calling so loudly that I feel like that's all I can hear! There are also loads of other naughty foods that I have collected lately, sitting in their own special cupboard. I must not cave. Self discipline is necessary.

Exercise:

• -405 calories on elliptical
• -210 calories on treadmill
• 12 reps on each of the 9 weight machines in the circuit; 15 reps each inner and outer thigh machines; 12 reps (each leg) on the glute machine
• 30 crunches
• 30 leg lifts
• 8 puke inducers

The scary thing for me about food is, I can't stop eating. Even when I'm full, I keep eating... pure gluttony. This acquaintance of mine was encouraging people to (essentially) put their best foot forward and really put an effort into life. I was moved by this sentiment 'cause I tend not to put my best effort into life and I have no idea why!?!

Best foot forward from now on. Best foot forward.

cupcake

xo

P.S.

Last I looked (this afternoon) I weighed a staggering 201.8... the most I've weighed in a long time.

Addendum to the food diary:

2 x Bud Light Lime; shared with a good friend... that means the calories don't count, right?!

I suck.

Seriously.  Look at the size of me!  My head looks so small on top of that giant body.  I'm back up to 191 pounds of disgustingness.  God help me.  I need help, but it needs to come from within.  I've struggled for so long now that I don't even know where to get the strength, determination and courage from.

SIGH...

The day

Exercise

- 554 calories on elliptical

- 256 calories on treadmill

Total calories burned = 810!  

Food

1 Kashi™ cherry & chocolate granola bar (130 cal)

1 cuppa with 1% milk & Splenda

1 litre water

1.5 cups leek & potato soup

Hunk of sweet potato cornbread

3 lilliput eggs (it was a mistake, but a yummy one)

1 cup vegan chili (made by me)

1/3 cup brown rice

2 tbsp sour cream (50 cal)

cupcake

xo

Chubby tummy

Grrr.  When will I ever learn?!  One day of relaxed eating is likely okay.  Four days?  Not good at all.  My tummy is feeling, and looking, really chubby.  Grrr.

Exercise

- 553 calories on elliptical

-237 calories on treadmill

Total calories burned = 790 

Food

1/2 bran cereal with 1% milk & 2 medium-sized strawberries

2 x cuppas with 1% milk & Splenda™

1/2 cup chopped fresh strawberries

1 serving Kozy Shack™ no sugar added chocolate pudding

3 tbsp light Cool Whip™

1 cup vegan chili (made by moi)

1 tbsp sour cream

1/4 cup brown rice

750 ml of the skankiest tasting water around (from the gym fountain... ugh)

2 litres water flavoured with 1/2 strength Crystal Light™

1 ¼ cups homemade leek & potato soup - delicious!

A chunk of homemade sweet potato cornbread - delicious!

2 oven chips

cupcake

xo

Muffin top

Oh the muffin top.  Coveted in the food sense, dreaded in the body shape.  How can one thing be so good and yet so evil at the same time?  Food for thought.

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 553 calories

22 minutes on treadmill - burned 217 calories

Total calories burned = 770 

Food

1 cup fibre cereal with 1% milk = approx. 270 calories

10 organic globe grapes = approx. 35 calories (1.5 cups = 62 calories)

1 cuppa with 1% milk & Splenda™

2 litres water

1/4 cup brown rice

2 cups stir-fry, including low-fat tofu & sauce made from almond butter; liquid smoke; sesame oil; Bragg's™ Liquid Amino; rice vinegar & fresh ginger 

Pudding on a cloud with 1/2 cup chopped strawberries (175 calories)

1 flat bun

1 kid's size veggie burger from Lick's™ (made at home)

Lettuce

1 tbsp Heinz™ chili sauce (made by God)

1/2 tbsp light mayo

1 rice chip

1 baked french fry

.42 of an ounce of marble cheese

Amazingly, after all that delicious food I am still hungry.  No kidding.  My tummy is growling right now!

cupcake

xo

Key lime...

Exercise

52 minutes on elliptical - burned 579 calories

20 minutes on treadmill - burned 201 calories

Food

1 cup fibre cereal with 1% milk (270 calories)

1 litre water... must drink more in the evening

1 egg salad sandwich on whole wheat (from Tim Horton's™ - 390 calories)

1 can Diet Pepsi™

1 key lime donut... umm... oops... it was DELICIOUS! (320 calories)

1 Kashi™ cherry chocolate granola bar (130 calories)

1 Blue Menu™ nuke 'em veggie lasagna (surprisingly tasty & satisfying @ 240 calories)

1 cuppa with 1% milk & Splenda™ 

1 container of Kozy Shack™ no sugar added pudding (90)

3 tbsp of light Cool Whip™ (a strong emphasis on the 'wh' sound!) (35 calories)

1/2 cup chopped fresh strawberries (maybe 50 calories?)

According to my calculations, I have eaten 570 more calories than I have burned off.  If I had removed the granola bar & donut, I would've only eaten 120 more calories than burned.  Not bad.  Thing is though, I did eat both of those things and I also feel like I'll eat something else before the evening's out.  I have pudding on a cloud in mind...

Okay, so I had the pudding on a cloud and it was really yummy!  So now the final tally is 745 calories (give or take b/c I'm not sure how much 1% milk I have in my tea) more taken in than burned off.  Ouch.  Oh well. 

I'm really hungry today and have broken out like a teenager.  Hmm, maybe I'm getting younger from all the exercise!?!  Wishful thinking.  Although I have heard that exercising can possibly give you a younger, and of course healthier body (and mind).

cupcake

xo

Here we go again.

The boys are back to work and school, and I went back to the gym.  Whew!  Wee man helped to prompt this.  He likes to outline what is going on and he did his, "Daddy's going to work.  Wee man's going to school.  Mummy goes to the gym!"  He sounded so happy that this regular routine was starting again that I didn't want to disappoint him.  Would he ever know if I didn't go?  No. Would I?  Oh yeah.

Food

1 cup fibre cereal with 1% milk (approx. 270 calories)

4 chick'n strips (190 calories)

1 tbsp light plum sauce (12.5 calories)

2 x cuppas with 1% milk & Splenda™

1 Astro yogurt cup (70 calories)

4 litres water flavoured with 1/4 strength Crystal Light

1 cup mashed potatoes - I know it's a lot, but oh so good and mustn't be denied

2 vegan sausages

1/4 cup vegan brown gravy

1/4 cup bright green, pop when you bite them, yummy peas

Exercise

53 minutes (including cool down) on elliptical - burned 579 calories

22 minutes on treadmill - burned 175 calories

It's funny to me that when one thing falls into place, in this case my eating and gym habits, other things follow suit.  I'm up to date on the laundry; had wee man's lunch ready for his arrival home from school; the beds are made (which sounds like nothing, but lately that's really something!); the recycling's done, etc, etc.  It feels good.  Really good.

I wasn't sure how today would go, but it's shaping up to be pretty great!

cupcake

xo

New low.

Well, life has been less productive.

I hit a new type of low today and figured it was time to get back on it.  When I went into wee man's room this morning to wake him up for school (first day back from March Break), I was met with a tiny voice saying, "What happened to your pillow?"  I knew this wasn't going to be anything good.  Poor soul had vomited all over his bed and even his jammies were covered.  The good news is, he is a little trooper and was happy to be taken care of by Mummy all day.  Why is this important to my weight loss life?  Wait for it... I intentionally took a bite of wee man's toast today, thinking that a bout of the tummy flu would help me get back on track.  Oh my goodness. That is low.

I weighed myself this afternoon and I'm at 189.  Yep, that means a gain of at least 9 pounds.  9 pounds of junk.  9 pounds of bullshit spouted to myself.

On Friday I went into Toronto with T and spent a nice evening having good conversation with three very positive and motivational ladies - thanks girls!  There were hints and suggestions that it was likely time for me to get back on the train, there may have even been train whistle sounds!

So here I am.  Feeling kind of squidgy, hoping I can get back on the train.  Hoping.  Ugh.  My positive attitude will resurface, I just know it.

As much as I've indicated this blog is just for me, it's really flattering to know I have so many people caring for me and my well being.  Thank you to all of you.

For now, I'll think of one of my favourite authors, Dr. Seuss and his wise words:

"You have brains in your head.  You have feet in your shoes.  You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.  You're on your own.  And you know what you know.  You are the guy who'll decide where to go."

cupcake

xo

Oh man.

I guess I've got some stuff to work through.  For almost 2 months I had the exercise and eating right regimen totally down.  Now?  Not so much.

On Saturday I found out that I had GAINED one pound.  Did I deserve it?  Yep.  

My brain has completely shut out the idea of exercise and eating right.  My determination? Fizzled.  I don't even know why?!  

When I was watching Biggest Loser last night and the black team got 24 hours of luxury, I saw myself.  Bingeing.  Bingeing is bad.  Very bad.  

ARGH!

cupcake

xo

Timmy's (cue shudder)

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 563 calories

12 reps on each of the 9 weight machines & glute machine

15 reps on each of the inner & outer thigh machines

45 crunches & leg lifts

10 puke inducers

Food

1 cup Fibre Plus Bran Flakes cereal with 1% milk

1 Timbit

1/2 container of tomato parmesan soup from Tim Horton's

1 soup roll (110 calories) with butter

3/4 cup vegan chili

2 cups pasta (whole wheat pasta; capers; rehydrated sun-dried tomatoes; light boccaccini cheese; omega oil; spices

2 slice demi baguette with light butter

Smoothie bar

Cuppa with milk & Splenda

2 litres water - one litre flavoured with Crystal Light (approx. 1/3 strength)

Good god.  Am total pig. 

I just swung on over to the Tim Horton's website and if you want to really shock yourself, go ahead and punch into the nutritional calculator what you'd eat.  I ate one stupid little Timbit today.  It took me all of 10 seconds to pop that sucker in my mouth, chew and barely enjoy it.  Guess how many calories that sucker had?  Go on, take a wild guess.  I figure it would be 50 calories.  Ha!  90!  90 friggin' calories.  11.26 minutes on the dreaded elliptical earns me one Timbit.  Is it worth it?  NO.  I'm reeling.  Seriously!

As for the indulgence of pasta... it was so worth it.  I haven't made it in a long time and it was deeelicious.  I feel like a complete hog though.  Yikes.

cupcake

xo

Prince of Wales Tea

I love tea.  Like I mean I really love tea.  Typically my favourite tea is Earl Grey, but now that I can't get my delicious Dilmah Earl Grey, I find myself wandering the tea stores and aisles in the grocery store searching for that newest, greatest tea for me.  God I sound insane.  I got wooed into the Prince of Wales tea (Twinings) by some sophisticated looking black packaging.  How on earth could I have been wooed by a tea that was named after the man pictured in this blog entry?!  Oh sweet cuppa, will we ever be together again?

A good cuppa can make the whole world disappear.  The distant sound of a teaspoon clinking in a mug can make me feel loved and cared for.  It's warmed my hungry belly countless times with so few calories.  Pure love.

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 562 calories

Food

1 cup Fibre Plus Bran Flakes with 1% milk

2.5 cups vegan chili

1/4 whole wheat bagel with light cream cheese

1 medium tea with milk & Splenda from Tim Horton's

1 weak Prince of Wales tea

1 Laura Secord chocolate

100g container of Astro f/f s/f yogurt - I found it in the back of the fridge!

1 heaping tbsp of the most vile tasting banana pineapple & coconut, now down the sink, f/f s/f yogurt

2 litres of water (one litre flavoured with 1/3 strength Crystal Light)

cupcake

xo

Guess who's back?

Okay, yep it's me.  Thank god.

Firstly, thank you to all who cared enough to send me comments and personal messages to get my ass in gear; I'm shifting at about 3rd right now.

Today was tough, but the toughest bit is over.  I ate right; exercised; drank water; smiled; finished laundry that's been hanging over my head; made a kick ass chili; cleaned & swept the kitchen; grocery shopped; planned meals AND bonded with wee man.  Actually, sounds like maybe I was in 5th gear today.  Phew.

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 560 calories

12 reps on all 9 machines in weight circuit

15 reps on each of the inner & outer thigh machines

12 reps (on each leg) on the glute machines

45 crunches & leg lifts

10 puke inducers

Food

1 cup Fibre cereal with Bran Flakes with 1% milk

10 delicious grapes (very crunchy, juicy, flavorful & sweet!)

1 packet pot noodles - not the best choice, but tasted yummy (380 cal.)

1 cup Prince of Wales tea... weak and unexciting... reminiscent of the man?

1 2/3 cup vegan chili made by me

1 very small slice of freshly baked multigrain demi baguette

1 small amount of lower fat butter to accompany delicious fresh out of the oven demi baguette

3.5 litres water (some lightly flavoured with Crystal light)

PC Smoothie Bar - 80 calories

The gym was very difficult today.  I was telling a friend of mine that I was trying to find every excuse in the world to do less than I knew I should at the gym.  When I was on the elliptical I was telling myself I wasn't going to do the weight circuit because I needed to go grocery shopping.  Then when I was doing the weight circuit I was telling myself I wasn't going to do the mat work.  Then while I was doing the mat work I was secretly beaming with pride because I actually did it all!  Somehow it all just fell into place today.  The grocery shopping got done, probably because I had a specific list, itemized into sections of the store - much quicker!

I'm loving life again today :)

Thanks again, all.  

cupcake

xo

Are you there god? It's me, cupcake.

HELP!  So I've been trying to get through this rough patch of eating badly (oh no) and not going to the gym (oh goodness no), but I can't seem to do it on my own.  If you are reading this, please send me a note to either kick my sorry butt into gear and start eating right again, or just rake me over the coals... something... please.

My Mom's visit completely threw me off course; no gym for the last 2 days and tons of really high fat and high sugar foods.  I feel like shit, physically & emotionally.  Two days is all it has taken for me to go from being super proud of myself to super low.  I'm gob smacked at how easy it has been for me to throw all of my good work and self teaching out the window.  

I feel like a failure all over again.

I am sad.

cupcake

xo

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!

The weekend brought with it fun, but a lot of food and drinks that I would've been better off without.  That being said, I didn't go too overboard, so I don't feel awful about it.

Saturday lent itself to being a very good day.  I woke up with sun shining out my ass.  No really. I felt like a million bucks when I got up.  I was all smiles and cheer for the majority of Saturday and I loved feeling that way.  I took a couple of pictures of myself because I was actually feeling good, therefore if you look to your right you'll see the latest progress shot.  I was disappointed that I didn't take a 'before' picture when I started on this weight loss/healthier me extravaganza, but I can start taking some along the way now.

I am very proud to say that I won the Chub Club 6 week weight loss (percentage) challenge!  I lost 7% of my body weight, also known as 14 pounds.  Week in and week out I work really hard, but without the support of the women in this group, I think I would've fallen off the wagon far more often.  Thanks ladies.  My weight at CC on Saturday showed as 182.8.  I still have a long way to go until I hit the sweet weight of 140 that I am aiming for, but I figure with hard work and perseverance I will get there :)

Exercise

53 minutes on treadmill - burned a paltry 471 calories, almost 100 less than on the elliptical!

15 minutes on elliptical - burned 169 calories

12 reps on each of the 9 weight machines

15 reps on each of the inner & outer thigh machines

12 reps on each leg of the glute machine

45 crunches & leg lifts

10 puke inducers

Food

1 cup Guardian cereal with 1% milk

3/4 small oat bagel 

1 cup Amy's vegetable & lentil soup

2 tbsp cream cheese

1.5 litres water

1/2 cup basmati rice

1 cup veggie (homemade) curry

1 oatmeal raisin cookie (130 calories)

2 x cuppas with milk & Splenda

1 peach & mango smoothie bar (80 calories)

1 macaroni noodle (testing to see if it was done)

6 organic dry roasted almonds

Cupcake

xo

Snacky McSnackerson

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 552 calories

12 reps on each of the 9 weight circuit machines

15 reps on each of the inner & outer thigh machines

12 reps on (each leg) the glute machine (this is my new favourite machine)

45 crunches & leg lifts

10 puke inducers

Food

1 cup fibre cereal with 1% milk

Cuppa with milk & Splenda (we seem to have a never ending supply of Splenda!)

1 egg salad sandwich on whole wheat from Tim Horton's

1/2 can Diet Pepsi (tasted awful, but I was thirsty)

1 freshly baked cookie (must stop baking cookies, they're the devil's work)

100 calorie sachet of some crap that tasted equally as good

1 Laura Secord chocolate

1 litre water

Ugh.  I am a snacking fiend these days.  I'm not sure how to stop.

On a different note, if anyone has any exercise suggestions I would be receptive to hearing them.  Next week is my 6th week of going to the gym and I need to change up my routine a bit. I don't feel ready to take one of the classes because they seem insane and I am totally uncoordinated.  Plus, I don't really like the look of them.  This is probably all the more reason to try them. 

More later.

 

Cupcake

xo

Baby wants back.

I tried a new machine at the gym today, one that I've been a bit nervous about because it looks kind of complicated.  As it turns out, it's great!  The "Glute" machine.  My butt has never been a main attraction for my body, it's flat, and just generally boring and blah.  Now that I have overcome my fear of the glute machine, I can move on to having bigger and firmer buns :)

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 559 calories

12 reps on each of the 9 weight machines in the circuit

15 reps of each inner and outer thigh machines *new* upped each machine by 5 pounds

*NEW* 12 reps (on each leg) on the glute machine (baby wants back!)

45 crunches & leg lifts

10 puke inducers

15 - 20 minutes of shoveling the driveway (not very difficult, but something nonetheless)

Food

1 cup Guardian cereal with 1% milk

1 litre water

1 whole wheat flat bun

1 tbsp Heinz chili sauce

2 x Sun Dried Tomato Gardenburgers

1 Laura Secord chocolate

1 freshly baked cookie that was begging to be eaten (eaten totally by accident!)

100 calorie sachet of lemon & stem ginger cookies

1/2 cuppa with milk & Splenda

Veggie & tofu stir-fry with demonic almond butter sauce

1/2 brown rice

PC Smoothie bar

Cuppa

Kind of a bad afternoon for snacking.  Yikes.

Hmm, bad pattern re-emerging; I'm eating too many snacks.  I have to get this in check or it will go downhill quickly.  I know myself.  I know what this behaviour leads to.  Must... not... drown...

Cupcake

xo

A couple of pounds heavier, I return.

So yeah, I'm pretty sure I gained at least 2 pounds this weekend whilst at my parent's house.  I can't really say I slipped, I just made a decision to not fuss about what I was eating.  Was it a mistake?  Maybe.  I felt awful all weekend because my tummy was terribly upset.  My portion sizes at home are quite small and light compared to how my parents fed me.  For the most part they provided healthy options, but there were just too many yummy things on offer!

My blood pressure seems to be really low these days, according to my parent's blood pressure machine, so I'm going to go to the Doctor.  I'd noticed I was feeling a bit faint, but wasn't able to sleep so I thought I might have high blood pressure, but that's not the case.  Over the course of the weekend I checked my pressure several times with the highest coming in at 91 over 56 and the lowest at 86 over 52.  The average blood pressure is 120 over 80!  Meh, I'm sure it's nothing.

Food

1 cup Guardian cereal with 1% milk

3 litre water

3 x cuppa with milk & Splenda

1 cup Fibre Plus with Bran Flakes cereal with 1% milk

1 large organic Golden Delicious apple

4 Honey Multigrain Pretzel Braids (47 cal)

1 Mini Babybel cheese (60 cal)

4 fake chicken strips

5 pumpkin filled pasta thingys (the technical term)

2 tbsp tomato sauce

2 thin slices of demi-baguette

1 tsp butter

1 Laura Secord chocolate

Individual sized f/f s/f yogurt cup

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 550 calories

As it turns out, I can't seem to work out as well when the Communists are visiting (use your imagination).  Just like last month I thought I was going to keel over when I was on the elliptical.  I finished the 50 minutes, but I couldn't continue on to the weight machines and I feel gutted about it.  Now I have to work even harder for the rest of the week.

Cupcake

xo

Cordial cherries!

Normally husband would buy me a yummy box of chocolate covered cherries from Purdy's for Valentine's day.  Problem with that this year?  I just can't be eating that stuff.  Also, because I would normally receive this delectable treat, I can't stop thinking about them!  Oh sweet cordial cherries, how I love thee.  Maybe he'll have bought just one...

Food

1 cup Guardian cereal with 1% milk

2 x cuppas with milk & Splenda

6 organic dry-roasted almonds

1 litre water

FLT - 'facon', lettuce & tomato sandwich on whole wheat bread with 1/2 tbsp f/f mayonnaise

100 calorie sachet of stem ginger & lemon cookies (divine)

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 561 calories (new record!)

12 reps on each of the 9 weight machines

15 reps on each of the inner and outer thigh machines (I love the inner thigh machine)

10 puke inducers

Cupcake

xo

Valentine Madness

Boy oh boy, I am struggling today.  I guess my day didn't start off as well as it could have.  I'm not sleeping lately and it's getting really frustrating.  Aside from the frustration, it makes it very difficult to summon up the energy for the gym and life in general.  My level of patience has never been good, but add sleep deprivation in there and I get really stroppy and defeatist.  

Granted, there was something very odd that happened at the gym this morning that left me scratching my head and questioning what people are thinking.  Picture this, I'm beet red after finishing my elliptical extravaganza and am now on machine #7 in the 9 machine circuit and I'm tired.  This annoying, self absorbed, vacant, idiot of a woman comes waltzing up right behind me (enough that I have to stop working out).  I turn to see what the hell is going on and there's her butt in all it's Lululemon glory!  Shocked I jerked my head back and was met with a hair sprayed, make-up laden, attention seeker; the epitome of the Oakville freak show Moms.  Now I've never met her before, but we all know of her type.  Why the hell would you choose to stretch amongst the weight machines?!  There's no room.  She saw my shocked look (in the mirror) and gave me the classic look up and down, raised her eyebrows and then went back to pointing her ass in my face.  Cow.

Is that the end of it?  Sadly, no.  The last part of my workout is done on the mats and it's likely not a pretty sight.  I slog away trying my best to do abdominal work, huffing, puffing, etc. There she is again, only this time she's moving a mat right beside mine (again in a very small area).  "I see you're struggling a bit, so I thought I'd come over and be your motivation.  This (she runs her hand in a Vanna White style up and down her body) is possibly what you can get if you work hard enough."  Fuck me.  What do you say to that?  I know I blushed, but one wouldn't have been able to tell because my face was flushed from working out anyway.  "I certainly hope not!  I'm aiming for much better quality than that (I waved my hand by her body in a similar Vanna fashion)."  I know, not exactly a witty comeback but I was shell shocked!

To lump all the ladies at my gym into one category is totally silly.  I should be fair, she is unique.  The women at my gym are not like her; she's in a class all of her own.  

As I was leaving the gym she came running up to the counter where I was booking an appointment.  She talked right over top of me and demanded an elastic "... for this mop of mine", no apology and then ran back to her class.

I've been trying to process this encounter all day and still can't make any sense of it.  I guess I just have to chalk it up to the fact that there are just idiots in the world.  I will not be defeated by a stick insect who spews venom.

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 559 calories... possibly best yet

12 reps each of the 9 weight machines

15 reps inner & outer thigh machines

45 crunches & leg lifts

10 puke inducers

Food

1 cup Guardian cereal with 1% milk

2 x cuppa with milk & Splenda

6 organic dry-roasted almonds

Almost 1 cup of carrot ginger soup (homemade)

Small oat bagel with 1.5 tbsp cream cheese

2 litres water

11 oven chips

3 tbsp (no salt added) corn

4 'chicken' strips

I just finished baking Valentine sugar cookies for the boys to take to school & work.  OMG it was so hard not to eat freshly baked cookies!  Really, it was torturous.  I had a cup of tea instead.  I find drinking something warm really helps a hungry tummy.  See that was part of the problem, my hunger that is.  My food rations today haven't been enough.  It sounds like WWIII is going on in my tummy; Callum looked concerned.

So just after I finished writing I went to have a peek at a friend's blog.  She had posted on her blog an inspirational video.  Please check it out, I promise it's worth the time.

Are you going to finish strong?

Cupcake

xo