Running

This week has been a bit of a bust as far as regular postings go, but it's not indicative of my successes on the gym front and eating right. In fact, the other day I tried running. Man oh man, it was tough and my legs were very sore the next morning, actually that was this morning. I can't seem to keep track of time!

I was so not into going to the gym today, but I did it anyway. What excuse do I have? Work? Nope. School? Nope. The workout was sweat-laden but I felt so good once I was done, really invigorated and inspired by my own get up and go. Despite my legs protesting, I ran again today and did quite well.

Silly thing is, one of my goals is to be able to outrun an attacker. Isn't that insane? Geez. I have this total fear that someone will be stalking me at night or something, but I'll be so out of shape and lardy that I won't be able to get away. I'll be like a porcupine, only I don't have any fancy quills I can shoot out! Oh yeah, I'm not inviting any potential attackers to challenge me!!

My food has been going well, but I use that term loosely; I've not been eating enough. It's not intentional starving, just that I can't seem to find enough time in the day at the mo'. I always eat breakfast, but lunch is a miss these days and dinner has been too because Graham hasn't been home from work until really late this week, so the first chance I get to sit down properly isn't 'til about 9 p.m. Once that time rolls around, I can't be eating, so I just avoid it all together and have a cup of tea instead. So not good. Amazing how comforting tea can be to an empty stomach though!

Total side note: I just ran up a flight of stairs at top speed to get the phone, and was met with, "Uuhh, hello? Yes ma'am can I speak to the owner of the house?" NO! Dammit, don't you know how much it hurt to just sprint up the stairs with my aching legs. Frig.

Anyway, my goal for next week is to keep up with the gym, as well as manage my time a bit better. Wee Man and I are going to my parent's house for a visit next week and I'm pretty nervous about the eating style that goes on there, and also the fact that I'd like to still go to the gym, but it's a whole city away (it'd be like driving from Oakville to Burlington), but I know they won't get it. They'll just want me to use their home equipment, but I can't get into the swing of it all unless I'm actually at the gym. Maybe I'll have to "Suck it up, cupcake", grow a set and just tell them I'm going!

It's official. I joined and paid for the running clinic! The clinic starts on August 11th and goes for 8 weeks. I sure hope I can do this. I hope to have the wise thoughts of The Little Engine that Could: "I think I can! I think I can!" and then, "I knew I could! I knew I could!" A little faith in myself wouldn't go amiss.

I'll step on the scale tomorrow morning and post the results here. The weight loss is slow moving this time around. I think my body's trying to punish me for all the roller coaster ups and downs.

Any runners out there, I'd love to hear some tips. Also, some good vegetarian recipes would be very welcome too... from anyone, not just runners :p

Food

1 cup Special K Cinnamon Pecan cereal (to die for) with 1% milk (approx. 175 cal.)

1 frozen yogurt popsicle (50 calories)

1 glass Coke Zero (pretty self explanatory on the calorie value!)

That is it... can you believe that?!

Exercise

- 507 calories on elliptical

- 213 calories on treadmill (ran one minute on, one minute off)

cupcake

xo

Weigh-in time.

On a side note, it's time for me to measure and weigh myself. I was pretty cocky about this when I originally started this blog in January (?) but am now a touch more sheepish. Frig it. I have nothing to hide.

The really great thing is, I receive so many nice e-mails and comments from people, friends, or otherwise, that encourage me, or confirm that I encourage them to move forward and strive for better. It's a really nice feeling - thank you!

I was trolling the internet today and ended up stumbling across one of the strangest inventions I've ever seen: the toilet scale. Wha? It is what you think. It will weigh you when you sit down and then weigh you after you have a B.M. Apparently the designer, Haikun Deng, has geared this towards women who are totally obsessed with their weight and need reassurance at all times that they are losing weight. Good grief.

The last thing I want to be doing after the 'doo' as she calls it, is lifting my legs up straight in front of me (your feet can't be touching the ground) and wait for my weight to be registered.

I would like to try getting weighed whilst suspended though, now that sounds cool! Of course I don't want to weigh as much as a horse in order to get that chance!

cupcake

xo

Epic fail.

Yes, it's true. Epic fail on the eating front since Saturday night. Oh man, how easy it is to get sidelined. One night out. A few beers. A few chips. And I'm off.

Sunday and Monday were filled with disgusting eating habits that were actually making me feel sick, but I just kept going. Now it may seem like a bit of a cop out, but I was trying to make myself feel like shit. The thought process behind that silliness? So that I won't do it again. Good luck with that!

Graham had the morning off of work and we headed to the gym together - how cool is that?! It was nice having some friendly competition. The regular location of my gym is women only, so today I got to experience a different location, one where G-ram wouldn't be scrutinized for having cojones.

The unisex gym was so different! Everyone was totally presentable for one thing. None of this roll out of bed and drag yourself to the gym. Male and female looked coiffed; outfits were all matchy match, it was a crazy difference. There's got to be a sociology paper begging to be written about this.

Food

1 cup Fibre cereal with Bran Flakes and 1% milk

½ roasted veggie sandwich with melted mozzarella (I had great hopes for this sandwich, but it ended up just being like pizza)

1 tall fat-free vanilla latté

3 slices of organic Golden Delicious apple

1 cuppa with milk & Splenda

1 hamburger bun

1 veggie burger patty with bbq sauce

Handful of baby carrots

Exercise

• - 700 calories on the elliptical
• Mowed the lawn

cupcake

xo

Still chugging along.

I forgot to write an entry yesterday, but at least I know it's not because I fell off the wagon. I am going strong!

Exercise:

• - 503 calories burned on elliptical
• 30 crunches
• 30 leg lifts
• 9 puke inducers

On the note of exercise, I should've done the weight circuit and an additional (min.) 197 calories on the treadmill, but I just could NOT do it. The last 2 days at the gym have been super hard and I have no idea why. Today I barely, and I mean barely made it through the workout on the elliptical. I knew if I tried the treadmill afterwards that I might collapse. The deal I made with myself, yes I was having a whole conversation with myself in my head, was that if I didn't do the weight circuit or the treadmill that I have to do my mat work (crunches, etc) and do the weight circuit tomorrow. My poor stems are feeling tired though, and good tired :)

Food:

1 cup Fibre cereal with Bran Flakes & 1% milk

1 litre water

1 cup Diet Coke

Veggie sandwich from Richtree (bun a bit bigger than I should've indulged in)

Tall fat-free vanilla latte (150 cal.)

Tonight is date night with Graham and I'm really looking forward to it. We are watching Coraline; they even included 3D glasses with the rental. I also rented Confessions of a Shopaholic. I totally love Sophie Kinsella, she is one funny bird! On the note of Sophie, I was thrilled to see a new book written by her in the bookstore today! In the last 2 days I've purchased 4 books and am desperate for one more: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Oh, back to date night; I'm kind of worried about the food this evening... delicious pizza. I must practice some self control.

Tomorrow is going to be even more difficult as it's Gallately Beerfest! Oh, it's going to be a good 'un.

cupcake

xo

SWASS

Ya know, I don't even remember the last time I had a day that felt as good as this one. I worked hard, and I mean hard, at the gym today. Strangely, the caloric results were really similar as normal, but I forgot to check how long I took doing the exercising, I think it must've been less.

I needed to go grocery shopping, and since my gym is in the grocery store, I normally go shopping after I work out. Today, not so much. I just couldn't bear how sweaty I was. It was ridiculous! After turning around to check myself out in the mirror, I realized there was no way I could traipse around with my SWASS (please note, the SWASS in this picture is not mine)! As it turns out, it was a very good idea to go home and just take care of myself. I felt really good having done it.

I won't go into all the ins and outs of the day and why it was great, but I thought it important to point out that there are really good days in life, and I hope to have many more! There might be something to all this not thinking negatively stuff...

Exercise

• - 508 calories on elliptical
• - 195 calories on treadmill
• 30 crunches
• 30 leg lifts
• 9 puke inducers
• 12 reps on each of the 9 weight machines in the circuit, plus 15 reps on each inner and outer thigh machines, and 12 reps (each leg) on the glute machine
• TOTAL CALORIES BURNED: - 703... the unevenness of this number is very disturbing

Food

1 cup Fibre cereal with Bran Flakes with 1% milk (approx. 270 cal.)

1 litre water

2 slices light bread (110 cal.)

2 slices fake turkey (50 cal.)

1 squirt of light mayo, I make it sound so good! (25 cal.)

1 healthy squirt of dijon

Lettuce (2 leaves on the sarni)

Handful of very small carrots

Glass of Diet Pepsi™

6 baked potato chips (50 cal.)

1 Babybel™ gouda cheese round (60 cal.!)

2 eggs (140 cal.)

2 slices light bread (110 cal.)

Squirt of organic ketchup

½ tsp light butter

½ medium apple

1 cuppa with 1% milk and Splenda™

cupcake

xo

Workin' to the bone, bone, bone!

There I was just a walkin' down the street, when I was met with an elderly gentleman cruising down Lakeshore on his rascal (a very fancy one). He looked right at my eyes and said, "Well, don't you look beautiful today." I tell you what, he sure put a bounce in my step! What a nice thing to say to someone :)

I kind of wondered if I was showing a bit more of my happy self, even just walking down the street. As many of you know, once we start treating ourselves with love and respect, we feel better. I still haven't been able to figure out how to fix the emotional stuff, nor the self image issues and they are serious.

Must admit, I have found myself on the scale at least twice a day since I started my latest health regime. It's got to be a bit defeatist but I do it anyway. I do find that when I ignore the scale, I end up in a bit of a pickle because it's almost like I can pretend the weight's not adding up if I don't see the number. Maybe there could be an argument for the positives of checking the scale (at least) daily.

Exercise

• - 506 calories on the elliptical
• - 194 calories on the treadmill
• TOTAL CALORIES BURNED = 700

Food

1 cup Fibre cereal plus Bran Flakes with 1% milk

3 organic strawberries (on top of the yummy cereal.. mmm...)

1 litre water

Bowl of very veggified vegetarian veggie soup

3/4 flaxseed bagel lightly buttered on one side only (the 1/4 left was unbuttered...)

Can of Diet Pepsi™

Grande Earl Gray tea with skim milk & Splenda™

50 calorie frozen yogurt bar - SO GOOD!

1 veggie dog with small amount of mustard & ketchup

1 whole grain bun (150 calories)

Approx. 1/8 cup green peas

10 mini carrots

1 vegan thingy (I'll remember what they were called at some point... 27 cal.)

1 tsp light butter

1 cuppa with 1% milk & Splenda™

I feel really happy right now :) The only thing bugging me is that I have to pee, like really badly! Ciao!

cupcake

xo

Bustin' a move.

Exercise:

• 203 calories treadmill
• 457 calories elliptical
• 30 crunches; 30 leg lifts; 9 puke inducers
• 12 reps on each of the 9 machines in the weight circuit + 15 reps on each inner & outer thigh machines; 12 reps (each leg) on the glute machine
• TOTAL CALORIES BURNED (on elliptical & treadmill) = 660

Food:

1 cup Fibre plus Bran Flakes with 1% milk

2 slices light bread (110 calories)

2 slices fake turkey slices (50 calories)

Small amount of marble cheese & mustard

Small glass of Coke Zero™

1 granola bar (DAMMIT!!!!) (140 calories)

2 medium ears of corn (I only meant to have one, but they were so good...)

2 tbsp light butter

4 fake chicken strips

10 baby carrots

1 tbsp light plum sauce

Man alive, I can't believe I just devoured a granola bar. I am so disappointed in myself. I was busting with hunger and before I knew it I was wolfing down a (very yummy) granola bar worth 140 calories!!!

Won't get down on self. Won't get down on self.

My neighbour, who totally rocks, is now fully aware that I am going to the gym. Hmm, this means I've got a watchful eye living right next door to me, he even asked me about how it was going and gave me some advice. I think this is a good thing. Another person rooting for me - lucky me!

I was pretty much ravenous today, but after my massive dinner (doh!) I have defo settled down. A cup of tea is begging to be made, then it's off to bed!

Sayonara!

cupcake

xo

Never fear!

Sunday evening and I'm feeling pretty darn good.

I bet you were wondering, dear reader, whether or not I'd already fallen off the positivity wagon, right? Well, I didn't! Since Wednesday, I've been going to the gym everyday and since Thursday I've been eating right.

On Saturday night a few of us gals went out to a local pub and sang karaoke. Now for some, this would be a regular thing and nothing new or special. For me? A completely knee-knocking, terrifying, yet exciting experience!

First, I sang with my friend J, then again with J and then BY MYSELF! I was so shit scared, but I did it anyway. I figure, losing weight, eating right, making the right decisions for my/our lives, all fall into the same lump category: bravery. For me, it takes so much courage and bravery to make the right decisions. I have no idea where I went wrong in my life that it doesn't just come naturally, but I am going to be more brave from now on. Like J said to me on Saturday, "What's the worst than can happen?" and she's spot on. The worst thing that came of me being on stage was I met some more people and had a few even dancing! Gee, that's so scary - not!

On the note of bravery, I am going to join a running clinic that is put on by a trainer at my gym. I was totally honest with her, gave her the lo down of how unfit I am, and she assured me that if I followed her training I'd be just fine in the classes. Thing is, because I've never been a runner, I don't have any re-training of technique to do. Sweet! There is no doubt this is going to be very difficult, but I really feel like I'm up for it. My end goal is to run in the CIBC Run for the Cure on October 4th. The run is 5 km and according to the trainer, I should be set for the run, trusting that I follow her technique, etc.

With my 35th birthday approaching on October 10th, I seem to have this push to do new things before that magical moment where I'm in my mid-30s. Very odd indeed.

I feel pumped and happy! I've got great family, great friends and a great new attitude towards life. Of course, "Suck it up, cupcake" is still my favourite mantra :)

cupcake

xo

Yaaawwwnn...

Mmm, stayed up a bit too late last night. I got home around 11:30 p.m., watched an episode of Nurse Jackie, turned out the lights and proceeded to stare at the dark ceiling for what seemed like an eternity. Ever have those nights? I didn't even feel tired, but I knew I should be. Sometimes I find some mindless crap on the t.v. to help lull me to sleep, but I wanted to go it alone last night. I think the t.v. and I will find something vapid to watch tonight.

The good news is, I had a really pleasant evening with my friend J.

I find myself wishing for a rainy day today. Odd, I know. Well, not really that odd for me. When it really comes down to it, I think I'm looking for an excuse to stay in my jammies and do at home stuff.

My ankles are feeling the effects of working out the last two days; I forgot about the squeaky achilles thing. I think I'll just use the treadmill today, then again, the treadmill seems to take forever to burn calories.

This morning's breakfast was particularly yummy. I ate my favourite cereal and then chopped up the sweetest, most delicious, organic strawberries. Yum!

Food diary:

• 1 cup PC Fibre cereal with Bran Flakes; 1% milk & approx 4 chopped organic strawberries
• 1 cuppa with 1% milk and Splenda™ (currently going cold whilst I type this)

A friend recently told me that I'm really hot and cold. At first I was a touch offended and then realized it was just because I knew he was right. It seems like many areas of my life are begging for consistency.

Now off to motivate myself for the gym.

More later.

cupcake

xo

Mitten, mitten, who's got the mitten?

After removing the mittens from my gym back, I laughed, packed up my summer gym clothes and away we went. Callum and Mummy, together at the gym! The beautiful thing about my gym is there is a kid's play area, fully monitored by two attendants who are certified CPR folks. There are wonderful toys, other kids, and loads of fun to be had :)

It was really difficult to motivate myself, but I made a promise, not only to me, but to T. I didn't want to let either one of us down.

Again today I went to the gym with Wee Man and I had a great time, and so did he! Woo hoo! I pushed myself hard today, but was nowhere near the level I was when I stopped going to the gym regularly in February. The good news is, this revelation cleared up something in my head; I was doing well before, I had achieved something to be proud of, and I can do it again.

One thing that's going to be really tough is the food thing. Man oh man, my eating habits would shame anyone; I really am gross with food. The food diary is going to have to come back. Starting today.

Food diary:

1 cup fibre cereal with 1% milk

1 cuppa with 1% and a packet of Splenda™ (I tried to live w/o it, but I can't!)

1 frozen mac 'n' cheese (250 calories... not the healthiest choice)

1 medium peach

1 litre water

1 handful mixed nuts

Large salad with the following ingredients: green leaf lettuce; toasted raw almonds; red pepper; celery; onion; grated gouda and a very light dressing made with grapeseed oil and mustard

1/2 chick'n breast stuffed with corn and black beans

1 ear of delicious corn with 3/4 fat butter

1 handful of sweet and yummy strawberries

1 large spoonful of Activia™ yogurt

There is a vanilla cake with a fresh strawberry layer in the middle that is calling my name. It's calling so loudly that I feel like that's all I can hear! There are also loads of other naughty foods that I have collected lately, sitting in their own special cupboard. I must not cave. Self discipline is necessary.

Exercise:

• -405 calories on elliptical
• -210 calories on treadmill
• 12 reps on each of the 9 weight machines in the circuit; 15 reps each inner and outer thigh machines; 12 reps (each leg) on the glute machine
• 30 crunches
• 30 leg lifts
• 8 puke inducers

The scary thing for me about food is, I can't stop eating. Even when I'm full, I keep eating... pure gluttony. This acquaintance of mine was encouraging people to (essentially) put their best foot forward and really put an effort into life. I was moved by this sentiment 'cause I tend not to put my best effort into life and I have no idea why!?!

Best foot forward from now on. Best foot forward.

cupcake

xo

P.S.

Last I looked (this afternoon) I weighed a staggering 201.8... the most I've weighed in a long time.

Addendum to the food diary:

2 x Bud Light Lime; shared with a good friend... that means the calories don't count, right?!