Here we go again.

The boys are back to work and school, and I went back to the gym.  Whew!  Wee man helped to prompt this.  He likes to outline what is going on and he did his, "Daddy's going to work.  Wee man's going to school.  Mummy goes to the gym!"  He sounded so happy that this regular routine was starting again that I didn't want to disappoint him.  Would he ever know if I didn't go?  No. Would I?  Oh yeah.

Food

1 cup fibre cereal with 1% milk (approx. 270 calories)

4 chick'n strips (190 calories)

1 tbsp light plum sauce (12.5 calories)

2 x cuppas with 1% milk & Splenda™

1 Astro yogurt cup (70 calories)

4 litres water flavoured with 1/4 strength Crystal Light

1 cup mashed potatoes - I know it's a lot, but oh so good and mustn't be denied

2 vegan sausages

1/4 cup vegan brown gravy

1/4 cup bright green, pop when you bite them, yummy peas

Exercise

53 minutes (including cool down) on elliptical - burned 579 calories

22 minutes on treadmill - burned 175 calories

It's funny to me that when one thing falls into place, in this case my eating and gym habits, other things follow suit.  I'm up to date on the laundry; had wee man's lunch ready for his arrival home from school; the beds are made (which sounds like nothing, but lately that's really something!); the recycling's done, etc, etc.  It feels good.  Really good.

I wasn't sure how today would go, but it's shaping up to be pretty great!

cupcake

xo

New low.

Well, life has been less productive.

I hit a new type of low today and figured it was time to get back on it.  When I went into wee man's room this morning to wake him up for school (first day back from March Break), I was met with a tiny voice saying, "What happened to your pillow?"  I knew this wasn't going to be anything good.  Poor soul had vomited all over his bed and even his jammies were covered.  The good news is, he is a little trooper and was happy to be taken care of by Mummy all day.  Why is this important to my weight loss life?  Wait for it... I intentionally took a bite of wee man's toast today, thinking that a bout of the tummy flu would help me get back on track.  Oh my goodness. That is low.

I weighed myself this afternoon and I'm at 189.  Yep, that means a gain of at least 9 pounds.  9 pounds of junk.  9 pounds of bullshit spouted to myself.

On Friday I went into Toronto with T and spent a nice evening having good conversation with three very positive and motivational ladies - thanks girls!  There were hints and suggestions that it was likely time for me to get back on the train, there may have even been train whistle sounds!

So here I am.  Feeling kind of squidgy, hoping I can get back on the train.  Hoping.  Ugh.  My positive attitude will resurface, I just know it.

As much as I've indicated this blog is just for me, it's really flattering to know I have so many people caring for me and my well being.  Thank you to all of you.

For now, I'll think of one of my favourite authors, Dr. Seuss and his wise words:

"You have brains in your head.  You have feet in your shoes.  You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.  You're on your own.  And you know what you know.  You are the guy who'll decide where to go."

cupcake

xo

Oh man.

I guess I've got some stuff to work through.  For almost 2 months I had the exercise and eating right regimen totally down.  Now?  Not so much.

On Saturday I found out that I had GAINED one pound.  Did I deserve it?  Yep.  

My brain has completely shut out the idea of exercise and eating right.  My determination? Fizzled.  I don't even know why?!  

When I was watching Biggest Loser last night and the black team got 24 hours of luxury, I saw myself.  Bingeing.  Bingeing is bad.  Very bad.  

ARGH!

cupcake

xo

Timmy's (cue shudder)

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 563 calories

12 reps on each of the 9 weight machines & glute machine

15 reps on each of the inner & outer thigh machines

45 crunches & leg lifts

10 puke inducers

Food

1 cup Fibre Plus Bran Flakes cereal with 1% milk

1 Timbit

1/2 container of tomato parmesan soup from Tim Horton's

1 soup roll (110 calories) with butter

3/4 cup vegan chili

2 cups pasta (whole wheat pasta; capers; rehydrated sun-dried tomatoes; light boccaccini cheese; omega oil; spices

2 slice demi baguette with light butter

Smoothie bar

Cuppa with milk & Splenda

2 litres water - one litre flavoured with Crystal Light (approx. 1/3 strength)

Good god.  Am total pig. 

I just swung on over to the Tim Horton's website and if you want to really shock yourself, go ahead and punch into the nutritional calculator what you'd eat.  I ate one stupid little Timbit today.  It took me all of 10 seconds to pop that sucker in my mouth, chew and barely enjoy it.  Guess how many calories that sucker had?  Go on, take a wild guess.  I figure it would be 50 calories.  Ha!  90!  90 friggin' calories.  11.26 minutes on the dreaded elliptical earns me one Timbit.  Is it worth it?  NO.  I'm reeling.  Seriously!

As for the indulgence of pasta... it was so worth it.  I haven't made it in a long time and it was deeelicious.  I feel like a complete hog though.  Yikes.

cupcake

xo

Prince of Wales Tea

I love tea.  Like I mean I really love tea.  Typically my favourite tea is Earl Grey, but now that I can't get my delicious Dilmah Earl Grey, I find myself wandering the tea stores and aisles in the grocery store searching for that newest, greatest tea for me.  God I sound insane.  I got wooed into the Prince of Wales tea (Twinings) by some sophisticated looking black packaging.  How on earth could I have been wooed by a tea that was named after the man pictured in this blog entry?!  Oh sweet cuppa, will we ever be together again?

A good cuppa can make the whole world disappear.  The distant sound of a teaspoon clinking in a mug can make me feel loved and cared for.  It's warmed my hungry belly countless times with so few calories.  Pure love.

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 562 calories

Food

1 cup Fibre Plus Bran Flakes with 1% milk

2.5 cups vegan chili

1/4 whole wheat bagel with light cream cheese

1 medium tea with milk & Splenda from Tim Horton's

1 weak Prince of Wales tea

1 Laura Secord chocolate

100g container of Astro f/f s/f yogurt - I found it in the back of the fridge!

1 heaping tbsp of the most vile tasting banana pineapple & coconut, now down the sink, f/f s/f yogurt

2 litres of water (one litre flavoured with 1/3 strength Crystal Light)

cupcake

xo

Guess who's back?

Okay, yep it's me.  Thank god.

Firstly, thank you to all who cared enough to send me comments and personal messages to get my ass in gear; I'm shifting at about 3rd right now.

Today was tough, but the toughest bit is over.  I ate right; exercised; drank water; smiled; finished laundry that's been hanging over my head; made a kick ass chili; cleaned & swept the kitchen; grocery shopped; planned meals AND bonded with wee man.  Actually, sounds like maybe I was in 5th gear today.  Phew.

Exercise

50 minutes on elliptical - burned 560 calories

12 reps on all 9 machines in weight circuit

15 reps on each of the inner & outer thigh machines

12 reps (on each leg) on the glute machines

45 crunches & leg lifts

10 puke inducers

Food

1 cup Fibre cereal with Bran Flakes with 1% milk

10 delicious grapes (very crunchy, juicy, flavorful & sweet!)

1 packet pot noodles - not the best choice, but tasted yummy (380 cal.)

1 cup Prince of Wales tea... weak and unexciting... reminiscent of the man?

1 2/3 cup vegan chili made by me

1 very small slice of freshly baked multigrain demi baguette

1 small amount of lower fat butter to accompany delicious fresh out of the oven demi baguette

3.5 litres water (some lightly flavoured with Crystal light)

PC Smoothie Bar - 80 calories

The gym was very difficult today.  I was telling a friend of mine that I was trying to find every excuse in the world to do less than I knew I should at the gym.  When I was on the elliptical I was telling myself I wasn't going to do the weight circuit because I needed to go grocery shopping.  Then when I was doing the weight circuit I was telling myself I wasn't going to do the mat work.  Then while I was doing the mat work I was secretly beaming with pride because I actually did it all!  Somehow it all just fell into place today.  The grocery shopping got done, probably because I had a specific list, itemized into sections of the store - much quicker!

I'm loving life again today :)

Thanks again, all.  

cupcake

xo