It's amazing that I just turned 35. Where the hell did the time go? I'm half way to 70. Good lord.
Lately I find myself searching, but I don't even know for what. There's this push to do something with my life. Yes, I am happily married, have the best kid in the world (don't even try to pretend your kid is better than mine), lovely family (both blood and marriage related), fantastic friends, etc, etc. What more could a gal want?
A career in photography? That'd be nice. (cue shameless plug) If you haven't already checked out my photos, please do so: http://www.flickr.com/honig
Freelance writing? Also a very fine idea. Thank you for reading my blog.
When I was younger I was painfully shy. I had two nicknames that stuck with me for the duration of middle school; pinky and Casper, oh yeah and fog patch. You get the idea, right? White as a ghost unless I'm otherwise embarrassed, or sun burned, neither of which took much effort.
Through my twenties my blushing continued and was considered endearing, cute even. Granted my level of confidence increased greatly starting at about age 24 and continued for the next handful of years. During the confidence years, my blushing was usually kept for especially embarrassing moments, or even moments of being in the spotlight.
Now that I'm in my thirties, I am blushing more, my confidence has changed, and I get embarrassed really easily. Even though I get nervous speaking with strangers, I make a valiant attempt to do so in front of my son. It's important for him to see me socializing and having enough confidence and chutzpah to speak to people I don't know. They are after all, just people.
Recently I joined the Parents' Association at my son's school; so far so good. The really annoying thing is that I've reverted to my middle school days as far as embarrassment and shyness. What the?? I find that I've got so many great ideas (yes, I'm biased, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong!) but I never voice them. Inevitably a couple of ideas have been thought of by other members, but still, I should be speaking up.
I need to take charge. Everyone around me, and most importantly, me, can only benefit from this very key change.
On the note of change, I have decided to tighten the old purse strings a bit. Shoving vanilla latte after vanilla latte down my gullet is making my waist line expand and my wallet shrink. It's sick and wrong. I fell into the trap of a major coffee chain again, and I don't like it. Wasting money is stupid.
My goal is to shake up many aspects of my life (again) and make a commitment (again) to myself. Here are the things I'd like to adhere to:
- Only one vanilla latte per week.
- No more shopping for clothing (for me) until 2010. And no, this does not mean that I can go nutso on January 1, 2010.
- I must go to the gym at least 3 times per week. Note: # 1- #3 go together very well. If I stop the regular coffee shop purchases, and go to the gym, I won't need to go shopping for clothing because I already have a wonderful selection of clothing for someone with less avoir du poids!
- Cakes, pies, etc can only be purchased for special occasions.
- If I want cookies, I have to make them.
- One take-away meal per week only. Friday night is the perfect time for this.
- I will become a flyer whore. Researching the best deals only makes sense. The corporations do not need any more of our money!
- A plan will be set to help with the following: spending less and all the cool techniques for this (I am SO good at this... at least the plan bit) & improving my self-esteem.
- Start a website strictly for my more artsy photographs.
- Try my hand at freelance online writing.
The good news is, today after the P.A. meeting I was starving, but I went home for lunch instead of my usual behaviour of going out for shopping and eating. Well done, me.
\,,/(^^)\,,/
Allison
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